


Choosing Life

by Sukunami



Series: Life Series [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-09-01
Updated: 2002-10-15
Packaged: 2019-10-01 03:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17236244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukunami/pseuds/Sukunami
Summary: From a time of war comes LifeAfter the sorceress war, Squall is faced with a choice he never wanted to make, with or without Seifer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the Life Series, which started back in 2002 and I have dabbled with ever since. Be prepared for different writing styles during the over 15-year span of writing this story, which was mainly created for the fun of it and no real driving purpose beyond that.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

|Squall|

Hyne, it's too hot. I had practically ripped off my clothes not too long ago and then laid down on cool silken sheets, but it wasn't enough. Not for this type of heat. As I rub hard against my erect penis, I curse the sorceress for doing this to me. I'm so aroused that it hurts, release kept far from my grasp. As one hand pumps in a futile attempt to appease, my other hand wanders across my chest, every inch I touch is sensitive enough to cause short gasps of breath.

The solid door to the chambers opens wide as someone is pushed inside, the form slumping to his knees onto the floor. The exit is then quickly closed and locked by the guards. With great amounts of will power, I force myself to stop masturbating and walk awkwardly over to the wretched looking man. Kneeling next to him, I place a hand on his thigh, his body flinching at my touch.

"Seifer..."

"Hyne, don't, Squall. Just don't. It's my fault your here, that you got hurt. I... I only--"

I move my hand to his face, forcing him to look at me. "We're mercenaries. Sometimes duty will require us to fight each other. I'm just glad you're alive." I had thought the blond was executed for his stunt against President Deling, but seeing Seifer standing proud next to the sorceress was both a relieving and horrifying sight.

He shakes his head. "She confuses me. One minute I'm thinking that I'll never hurt you, and then she convinces me that you want to be hurt, that you want to be killed. It makes me sick."

A light kiss to his temple in the effort to soothe turns into a string of kisses along his face and ultimately to his dry lips that I wet with my tongue.

He pulls back. "Squall. Fuck, this isn't the time for that."

I grab his choker, the chain and bar made of the same material as my Griever pendant. "I'm drugged, naked, and really need to come. We can talk later."

Green eyes widen, finally taking in the scene before him. "What is she planning with this?"

I shrug, already pushing the worn trench coat from his shoulders. "A prize for loyalty?"

"She doesn't need to give a lapdog treats, especially when it had failed its duty." He grabs my wrists as I try to undo his vest. "We can't do this. The bitch is obviously setting us up for something."

"Don't make me beg, because right now I think I would."

With a stunned whisper he states, "You never beg." Releasing my hands, he wraps his arms around my waist and helps me to stand.

Between uncoordinated and desperate kisses, we are amazingly able to remove his clothing before I end up on the bed of black silk. He spares a moment to look down at me sprawled before him, some lust seeping into the eyes filled with worry and shame. Hyne, I need him in me, and I hate the absoluteness of that need. Though it is Seifer's greatest frustration, I've taken pride in my switch on/off libido. No, I've never been one to beg for sex, but many a night I have dragged pleas from the blond. It's always a play of strength and will power between us whether in battle or bed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lying on top of me, he kisses too tenderly, too slowly along my neck. With a growl, I force us to roll over such that I straddle him. I don't bother with words of my need, instead work my way downward to his cock, taking it almost fully into my mouth.

"Fuck..."

As I suck for the mere purpose of getting him hard enough to please me, I silently apologize to Seifer for using him like this. To others it would seem strange, but relatively he is the sensitive one in our relationship, always needing more than just the quick fuck that could satisfy me. That isn't to say he does needlework in his spare time or anything. He just needs the additional caresses and touches that tells him he is wanted and loved. Since words are always hard for me, I certainly don't mind showing him how much he matters to me with a lasting massage or tongue bath.

The taste of pre-cum in my mouth motivates me to straighten and sit up in order to position myself over his stiff length. Shuddering at the feel of his tip against me, I sink down onto him, the experience unusually painful but extremely pleasurable at the same moment. As I go deeper onto his length, the sense of wrongness enters my mind.

"Squall...?"

Looking at his face, I know he senses something not quite right as well, but it feels too good to stop this now and compare notes. Rising and lowering on my knees, I soon get a steady but fast rhythm going. His large hands are on my waist, supporting me while waves of absolute bliss flow throughout my body. It's hard to decide if the aphrodisiac is a blessing or curse while I impale myself over and over again onto his cock. I suppose I should feel threatened that it's a poison the sorceress fed me, but it's difficult to think there could be a negative side to this pleasure.

A quiet whimper registers to my hearing before I climax, the rush of release almost worth the price of death. Panting hard, I rest briefly while still kneeling over his thighs. The warmth and softer flesh inside of me brings some relief that Seifer was able to come as well. An arm laid over his eyes, he breaths deeply while recovering. Feeling generous, I lean forward while brushing fingernails against his shivering sides, but before I reach his tightened nipples, I feel hardness pressing into my stomach. Quickly sitting back up, I look down to discover my erection as healthy as before. I hadn't come. There was a mind blowing orgasm, and I didn't fucking come!?

"Damn, that drug has certainly gotten to you. Want help?"

In his drowsy state, Seifer doesn't realize that neither of us has cum on our bodies from my 'release'. I almost point this out to him, but his offer in addition his light touch along my erection rekindles need within me. Sliding off him and moving forward, I kneel over his chest so that he can take my cock into his mouth. As he works skillfully on the needy length, I dare exploration with a free hand. Reaching behind, I discover my anus isn't sore whatsoever or stretched for that matter. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I go forward with my hand to find loose sensitive flesh, my fingers easily sliding inward with light pressure. Startled, I pull my hand back and then glance at my fingertips.

"Shit, you haven't bled in ages. Are you okay?"

Numbly, I glance down at Seifer, never noticing that he had stopped the blow job. He takes my hand, then licks the thick fluid from my fingers. Feeling extremely sober as if suddenly freed of the drug's effects, I move off the blond and lie next to him while trapping his arm beneath me. It's the closest I can come to asking to be held, and thankfully he can read the subtle action. While he holds me tightly, I try not to think of what has been done to me while I had been unconscious and vulnerable. I only want to focus on the warmth and strength surrounding me in momentary protection.

For now, it's all I can handle.

* * *

 

[Months later...]

Glancing up at the sound of the sliding door, I meet dark eyes that peer over a pair of reading glasses, her expression holding both amusement and worry at the sight of me. Crossing her arms, Dr Kadowaki sighs before speaking.

"Plan on standing in the hallway for another hour, or do you need something from me?"

I push up from the wall and stand straight. "You requested a check-up."

She frowns, clearly seeing through my sad excuse for coming to the infirmary, then beckons for me to come inside. I follow the silent command, the motherly doctor perhaps being the only one who would dare order me around in the Garden. As by design, there is no one else present in the infirmary. It's been over a month since the end of the war, and today was the first day when I could approach Dr Kadowaki without fear of someone overhearing. I suppose as Commander of SeeDs I could have requested a private session, but rumors spread quickly within these walls. Especially rumors related to highly secretive matters.

"Everyone else had their _mandatory_ checkup directly after the events with Ultimecia. So that leaves the question of why you chose now to show up."

"I have a private matter."

She pats her hand on a bed, signaling me to sit down. "No need to worry about loose lips from me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I may be pregnant."

Though I consider silence as my personal friend, I don't care for it much from other people. It'd be a lie to think this wasn't another reason beyond privacy that kept me from a much needed examination. Biting my lower lip, I glance longingly at the door for escape. The doctor's plump form soon blocks that view from me. A finger under my chin forces me to look up as she studies my face, perhaps looking for signs of alcohol or drugs. How I wish it was that simple.

"I thought you were looking pale. Are there spells of nausea?"

After a stunned moment, relief overwhelms me as I nod once in response. Thank Hyne, she believes me.

"I will have to ask you some questions, but I suppose you would prefer that I avoid some subjects, hmm?" She turns to her desk, taking some papers out of a filing drawer. "First, how long since conception?"

"Almost two months."

A dark eyebrow rises at the answer, partial understanding coming to her eyes. "Then this is the fault of a sorceress. Using lives like they meant nothing..." she grumbles while writing down the information on some form. "We will certainly need to run several tests to determine the effect this is having on your body, not to mention the child. Frankly, I'm amazed that there wasn't a miscarriage in the weeks after conception."

Every word she speaks with unnatural calmness given the event somehow makes this more real than it had been for me previously. Fuck, what ever happened to living the normal, wondrously short life of a mercenary.

A warm hand cups my cheek to regain my attention. "Squall, I need you to think about something very carefully - do you want this child? Compared to most, this will completely change your life. For all we know at this moment, it could very well take your life. While I usually don't intrude on other's decision in this matter, abortion must be considered in your situation."

I hesitate. "Do the tests for now."

She nods, then moves to the far side of the room to gather the instruments she needs.

Truthfully, I hadn't thought about abortion. I saw this as another unavoidable twist to my life that fate felt like handing me. How could so many things go wrong in such a short time span. A simple soldier turned SeeD Commander then Acting Headmaster who just happens to save humanity from an insane sorceress. Then there is the recent knowledge that my deserting father is king of a mysterious country, though he claims himself as merely president for the past twenty years. Somehow the additional title of 'pregnant man' either hasn't hit me yet, or else my shock circuit has been blown out for good.

For the next several hours, I'm at the mercy of the doctor as she does more tests than had be done on me in my lifetime. Most embarrassing is when Dr Kadowaki tries to find the once existing second passageway into me. She seemly doesn't believe my word when I try to explain how it disappeared not too long after intercourse. Not soon enough, the examination ends when she snaps off her gloves.

"I should have results come morning. Your orders for the moment are to go to the cafeteria for a large lunch and then take a nap." She notices my frown. "I'm calling Rosa the moment you leave to make certain you get a lunch and eat all of it. That little life within you has no issues with taking what it needs whether you're healthy or starving."

"...Fine."

True to her threat, I hear the doctor pick up the phone as I leave the room. It's probably a good thing she's already looking out for me, no matter how annoying it may be. Without paying much attention to my surroundings, I make it to the cafeteria. Unexpectedly, a hotdog is shoved under my nose.

"Too late, Squall! I got the last of the hotdogs." Zell laughs as only one obsessed with processed meat can.

I reel back, but the smell has already done its damage. Trying not to lose it in the cafeteria in front of perceptive students, I stride quickly to the exit and head towards the thankfully nearby restroom. Not seeing anyone in the tiled room, I bolt for the closest toilet and let loose the waves. Gripping onto the flush handle to rid myself of the sickening view of my small breakfast, I wonder what would be the best way to kill Zell. Tarring and feathering could be delightfully ironic for the chicken-wuss.

"Squall?"

I suppress a groan. "Go away, Zell."

"Are ya okay? Looked kinda green there for a moment."

"... ..."

"Um, right. Well, the caf lady wants you to know you aren't off the hook. Direct orders from the good doc and all."

"Do you think I want lunch now?"

"How about a sandwich or something. For later?"

I rise to my feet and take heed to not slam the stall door open. "Fine. Have her send something to my office."

Happy with the excuse to leave my presence, Zell punches an upper cut into the air in a type of salute and then jogs out of the restroom. Washing my hands, I frown at my image in the mirror. I guess I am looking a bit sickly as of late, but damn if I don't have a reason for that fact. I take slow steps as I head towards my office, the feel of nausea no longer peaking but regrettably always there.

Taking a welcomed seat on a soft leather chair, I lean back for a moment of relaxation. Only a short time after my usual lunch hour and I'm exhausted. This isn't good. During the war itself, I found myself more tired than I should've been, but I wonder if that was by the sorceress's design. Create the ultimate Knight as she called it and remove the leader of the opposition from action with one stroke. Hyne, I hate this type of weakness.

Placing a hand under my shirt and lightly on my stomach, I reluctantly admit I have a decision to make. Funny how much nicer it was to think that I had no choice in this matter. The disciplined soldier in me, I suppose. I spend several minutes doing nothing but sitting there, cool hand on my warm stomach, before I realize I haven't a clue how to make this kind of choice. Tell me an army is heading this way or monsters are destroying large city, and I can come up with something. But this... what kind of training is there for this?

An unexpected idea comes to mind, and I act on it before thinking too hard about it. With a press of a speed dial button, the vid phone is dialing the number Laguna gave me in order to contact him. His attempt at bonding, I think. When the line connects, I'm surprised to see Laguna's image, not a secretary.

An expression of confusion quickly transforms into a goofy grin. "Squall. It's good to see you."

"Ah, sir. I didn't mean to interrupt--"

He waves a hand. "I may have the title of president, but I don't do much. This is my private line, so you can get a hold of me no matter where I am."

"... ..." I suddenly feel a bit nervous at calling him. I didn't realize how odd it could feel to be given special treatment by someone who says he's your father.

"So, mind if I ask why you did call? Hopefully not a business matter."

I shake my head. "I wanted to ask something."

He grins. "Ask away."

I hesitate, but I can't hold out for long against that disarming smile. "If you had the choice now, would you wish Raine had never gotten pregnant?"

Dark green eyes widen as the smile vanishes and he looks to the side. "Wow... Well, that certainly wasn't something I was expecting. Do... do you think I didn't want you?"

"Hard not to."

"That wasn't the case. There was a finishing war, I had plenty of enemies, and Raine's death... It's a poor excuse, but I simply wasn't ready for a child. I didn't believe I could protect you and Ellone, let alone raise you both. If there was anything to wish for is to have seen you grown up. Maybe it's my age talking here, but I've learned that life is an amazing thing." Laguna sighs and reforms eye contact. "I'm sorry your life was hard because of my selfish decisions. Someday I hope to earn your forgiveness."

"My life hasn't been bad, recent circumstances aside." If there's one thing I can respect is a person that doesn't try to hide behind excuses and lies, who's willing to accept the blame for his actions.

After a moment of silence, he asks, "Is there anything else?"

"... It looks like I'm resigning soon. I could visit in Esthar after that, if you would like." So blame me for wanting to know more about the man who is supposedly my father, the man who could tell me about where I came from. About my mother.

"Certainly! We have enough rooms that we can spare you one for as long as you'd like. But may I ask why you are resigning? Is something wrong?"

"No. Just a decision I had to make."

He eyes me through the video screen, an odd sense of fatherly sight somehow within the examination. "If anyone deserves a rest, it's you and the other kids. No offense, but you look like you could use the time off. Just let me know when you'll be arriving. I can pick you up from the train station."

"That's not--"

"I insist. Let me treat you while you're in town."

At the sound of knocking, I look up from the screen. "I have to go. I'll message you the details."

"Alright. And Squall... Thanks for giving me a second chance."

I nod, unsure of how to respond to his unrestrained relief, and then cut off the signal. Pressing a hidden button, the door slides open to reveal Rinoa with a cafeteria tray held in front of her.

"About time you opened the door."

"Who conned you into this job?"

"Zell had quite the terrified look when Rosa gave him the tray to send up here. Call me a woman of mercy." She takes the two plates and a glass of water from the tray, placing them in front of me then setting the tray on an empty chair. "Your lunch, sir."

"I thought I ordered a simple sandwich," I state while eyeing the additional side of fries, salad, and a small brownie.

She shrugs before taking a seat. "Afraid you have to put up with me until every crumb is gone."

"Certain I can't pay you off?" I hold up the desert.

She takes it. "Well, Zell never said that I couldn't help you out with this chore. So, anything you feel like talking about?"

"... ..." I poke the sandwich with a french fry, my hunger still lacking.

"Righto. Then how about the latest gossip?"

With a nod from me, she starts right into the random tales circulating the Garden. While most of it is crap, some of the rumors are good to be informed about, especially if there is some kind of action I need to take. With an uninterested bite into a fry, I look over Rinoa. She is really a lovely person, both inside and out. I could never hold the trust in humanity like she does. And once you get beyond her occasional childish words and actions, her friendly personality eventually gets to you.

I'm just relieved she came to me directly after the war, trying to determine what our relationship was exactly. I would protect the girl with my life, but I could never love her. I think she sensed it early on, but we all need our crutches to get through hard times. It's better having her as a friend, though it bothers me how easily she can draw words out of me. Took her barely a week to discover the reason why I couldn't love her, or anyone else who may come along.

"Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any new word about Seifer. He's in hiding, I guess."

"... ..."

"So... do you still love him?"

My lips curl into a bare smile. "'Still'? That would imply I could stop."

She laughs. "And here I thought you weren't the romantic type. I have to say it's amusing to hear how other people describe you and Seifer. All I've heard is that you two were the definition of bitter rivals. I don't think one person suspects the relationship that was hidden beneath the fights and ill words."

"It wasn't hidden. Everything was a part of our relationship."

"Dueling with the intent to maim is part of a relationship? Maybe it's a good thing I didn't get involved with one of you two." Rinoa takes a couple french fries from my plate, waving them at me. "Why haven't you called up the armies to look for our missing Knight? You have the power to abuse for such a thing."

"... Do me a favor and start to spread the word that I'm resigning from SeeD by the end of the month."

" _What?_ Why?"

I shrug in response, then attempt to eat the sandwich before me. Rinoa frowns, clearly not happy at being left in the dark about the sudden news, especially when I have told her so many secrets before. This is just something I can't talk about with ease. Having it my way, only one person needs to know - Dr Kadowaki, since there is no possible way for me to do this without medical assistance. I don't know if it's from fear of rejection or perhaps my own continuing denial, but I don't want anyone else to learn of my pregnancy. I just hope Rinoa doesn't try to drag this secret out of me since I don't know how long I could hold out.

* * *

 

|Seifer|

I glare at the entrance to Balamb Garden, trying to convince myself that I'm not afraid of passing through those gates. Just taking my sweet time, that's all. It's taken me three months to get this close, granted with the incessant prodding of Fujin. What's another five minutes... or days? It's not like I have anything pressing to take care of. Just wanted to tie up some loose ends and hopefully move forward with my worthless life.

"Seifer!? Is that you?"

What chance do I have of pretending to be someone else... "Who the fuck else do you think I am?"

Folding her arms across her chest, Quistis unexpectedly smiles at me. "Welcome home. It's about time you showed up."

"If you think that's going to get me to walk peacefully into some trap, you're insane. Just send out Leonhart so we can have a little heart to heart, then I'm gone for good."

She laughs lightly while walking up to me, her arm soon sneaking its way around mine. "Come on. We all know about what the sorceress did. Edea explained the whole situation. Frankly, we've been a bit worried not hearing from or about you."

"No games, Quisty. I really didn't come here for trouble."

"Good, because we're all about to have lunch. It may be called a 'weekly meeting for SeeD affairs', but in reality it's our excuse to order takeout despite Zell's demands for hotdogs."

Before I can come up with a decent excuse beyond not wanting to be executed, I find myself led into a room where four heads turn to face me, expressions mixed with confusion and shock. Only due to the sight of chicken-wuss with a drumstick of fried chicken held precariously in his mouth can I muster up a feasible smirk. Damn, why couldn't I have just called?

"Well, hello there stranger. You've finally come home." Messenger girl smiles widely at me from her position on the cowboy's lap.

"I'm not staying long. Just had some business with Leonhart." Strangely, that comment versus my unexpected appearance is what earns me a few frowns.

"Good luck to ya. He ran off 'bout three months ago with barely a word." Zell points the drumstick at me. "Probably took the lesson from you."

"Only doing you a favor, chicken-wuss."

"You would think that. Do you have a clue how dull it is around here without the DC to stir things up? And just when I reach a rank for some decent payback--"

"Ha! Dream on, chicken. Dream on."

He stands up from his chair and throws a couple punches into the air. "Wanna try this out, Almasy? It won't be so easy for you this time."

"Nah. I'm sure everyone appreciates you swatting the flies for them like that." And suddenly it's okay that I'm standing here in the Garden I tried to destroy. Whether I was in my right mind or not during the war, these idiots shouldn't trust me this easily. "So, what's this about the Lion ditching you kiddies?"

Rinoa gets up from her seat, wiping crumbs from her lap. "You guys go ahead and finish lunch. I'll give Seifer the details."

"Don't let him walk off, Rin. We still need to grill him about the past few months." A rather evil grin from Selphie gives me a brief chill. Yes, calling would have been much easier.

A hand slides around my arm as the dark-haired beauty leads me from the room. "Don't worry. He won't escape so easily this time."

The sliding door cuts off some light laughter. Neither of us say anything as we walk down the hallway, Rinoa hanging just a bit on the arm she holds. It's been months since we've been like this, when I introduced her to Cid as a favor. She seems more mature than I remember her, and more peaceful in a sense. I have to wonder where that energy she placed into her rebel forces went to. Then again, it would be near impossible for none of us to change and mature during those times.

I decide to break the silence. "So, what are you doing in the Garden? I thought they didn't care for civilians hanging around here."

"Didn't you know? I'm a sorceress now. Though no one will admit it, Balamb Garden is protecting me from people who don't care much for my kind. Not that I can blame them for wanting to be rid of me."

"Sorry, I didn't know."

"That's what you get for staying away too long. Which makes me wonder why you decided to show up now."

"It's between the Ice Prince and me. You guys really haven't a clue where he went?"

"When did you stop loving him?"

Her words stop me cold. "What the fuck do you know about that?"

She looks up innocently. "Squall told me. During the war we were kind of an item, but afterwards I realized that wasn't really the case. He was just being overly protective because he thought I was important to you. Took me a while to learn about whole secretive relationship."

"It wasn't a big secret, just no one bothered to ask. And what makes you think I stopped loving him?"

"You hurt him."

"I couldn't help it. That bitch messed with my thoughts. Bad ideas suddenly sounded like a great plan. Fuck, she could have told me left was right and I wouldn't have doubted her word."

"I'm not talking about that. You didn't come back for him." She jerks me forward to continue walking. "Before he left, Squall seemed sick and exhausted. You weren't here to comfort him."

"Leonhart doesn't need anyone to comfort him. He's ice." The words are reflexive, but unbidden memories come of him curling up to me while asleep, and then times after a duel when he would lean against me as we sit and watch the sunrise. He always craved the simple touches to know he wasn't alone, even if he didn't realize it himself.

"Even ice has its cracks. But you don't care, do you?"

" **I do**. I have, but how could I just walk here and ask for a friendly little chit-chat. I tried to kill him and the rest of you. How was I supposed to know I wouldn't have been attacked on first sight? I hoped with time..."

"Such an idiot. I'm doing this to help out Squall, not you."

Confused, I look around at our surroundings. "The infirmary? Want to examine my head or something?"

Rinoa finally smiles. "That would require a brain to check out first. Ask Dr Kadowaki about Squall. I think she knows something but her lips have been sealed tight. And when you're done, come back to the room for your overdue lectures. I can trust you to do that, hmm?"

"You know how much I enjoy being punished."

"Actually, Squall had mentioned something to that effect."

Amused and a bit shocked, I watch Rinoa walk down the hall and disappear from sight. Almost on cue, the door slides open with Dr Kadowaki glaring at me from above her glasses. She either has a second sight to know when someone is waiting in the hallway, or there's a hidden camera solely for her use. The doctor doesn't speak, her expression calm with undertones of anger, and she is certainly not a person someone would want to anger.

"Hey, doc. I was asking around about Leonhart. You happen to know where he ran off to?"

"Come inside."

I hesitate as thoughts of how the instruments in the infirmary could easily be used as torture devices come to mind. But the lack of a negative answer suggests she does know something. After I step forward, the sound of the door sliding closed behind me seems louder than normal.

"He's been depressed. Maybe you can do something." She hands me a slip of paper with coordinates on it.

"Why haven't you sent one of the kiddies, then? I'd probably only make him more upset."

She shakes her head. "He's requested that no one know where he is. You, his father, and I are the only exceptions."

"His...father? Um, sure we're talking about Squall Leonhart here?"

"Oh, you didn't hear about the announcement? The president of Esthar is his father. It was quite the story on the news - father and son rejoined during war, and all that ruckus."

Well, that's what I get for avoiding the news. I got sick early on about the crap concerning the evil Sorceress Knight that I stopped paying attention to the media. Not like there was much good news, anyhow.

"When you go, make certain he is eating properly. I've never had so much trouble getting a teenage boy to eat, especially in his condition."

"His condition?"

She straightens in surprise. "You don't know? Hmm, I guess I assumed incorrectly then... Well, then I'll let him tell you if he wants to. Patient confidentiality and all."

Knowing the older woman wouldn't let loose any more information than she already had, I more stumble than walk out of infirmary, my insides twisting and tearing at the news. Of course there should be a reason why the doctor knows where Squall is currently hiding while everyone else is clueless. Maybe he got more fucked up during the war than I had thought. I need to see him. Hyne help me, I need to see him right now.

"Seifer?" I look up to find Rinoa waiting for me at the end of the hall, her eyebrows scrunched in worry.

"I have to go. Squall... something's wrong. Can you make an excuse for me?"

"Of course. I'll make them understand, but promise me to send word that everything is okay. We're all worried."

I nod my agreement to the condition, then run for the exit before anyone tries to stop me from leaving. A good thing no one does since I don't feel like being responsible for another murder.

~><~

There's no response when I knock on the door to the rather large house, but I discover the entrance unlocked. The idiot, just anyone could walk in while he's asleep or away. I need to teach that boy how to lock a door. After a quick and loud run through of the house, I determine that Squall is indeed gone, or else kidnapped by sorceress supporters and is currently being tortured. Hyne, I need to stay rational here. The little ice prince probably just went for a walk or to get groceries, and he just hasn't noticed how dark it's getting outside. Or rather, he just doesn't give a shit.

Stepping onto the back porch, I find a mildly worn path from here to some place further out beyond the hill. With no other plan in mind, I follow the path and hope I don't get lost if it gets too dark out. Wish I could've made that rental car go faster.

A fair distance later, the path goes up a large incline. Looking up the slope of bare sand and boulders, I can just make out a dark form that sits on one of the large rocks. Only when I'm a few meters away does the man turn to look at me. Squall seems mildly surprised by my appearance, as if he had been expecting someone else, then faces back over the distance of cracked desert as his arms wrap tightly around himself.

"Why are you here?" he asks with an annoyed tone while shifting so that more of his back faces me. Can't blame the guy for being upset.

"I looked for you at Balamb and the doc told me you were here. So, are you going to tell me what exactly is wrong with you, or am I going to have to force it out of those tight lips?"

"It's none of your concern. Just, what did you want with me?"

"And here I thought it'd be obvious. I wanted to apologize for all the shit I did to you."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I should've fought her harder or something. At the very least I should have never hurt you like I did. It can't cover everything, but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Squall."

"I never blamed you." And that means so much more to me than gaining his forgiveness. How does he know what I need?

"Now, what's this crap that you aren't my concern." I stride up to him and place my hand under his chin to force him to really look at me. The action makes him lose some balance, his arms going back to brace himself up. Stretched like that, I clearly see the mass that his stomach has become. The condition Dr Kadowaki spoke of... "Is it a tumor?"

Blue-gray eyes go wide, then hysterical laughter erupts from his mouth and eventually through the hand he uses to stifle some of the sound.

"This is hardly a laughing matter, Leonhart. How long have you had this? Can it be treated?"

The laughing fit halts as if it had never sounded, and he slides off the boulder to stand. "It's not a tumor and I'm not going to die anytime soon."

"Then what--"

"Seifer," he interrupts. "Right now you can leave before you find responsibility in any of this. The next time you ask, though, you'll have more choices to deal with than you will want to care about. I suggest you go back to whatever rock you hid under."

The last part of his statement is partially a challenge to face him and whatever secret he is holding from me. He'll probably think that will be the reason for my response, how I'll never back down from a blatant insult. But in truth it's because of what I see standing in front of me. Hyne, he's beautiful, absolutely perfect, and I haven't a fucking clue how a managed to stay further than two feet from his presence.

"Tell me."

He sighs and looks to the side briefly before reforming eye contact. "I'm pregnant, and with your child."

"... ... W-wha... What the fuck...?" If it was anyone else, I'd call this a sick joke on my behalf, but Squall doesn't do jokes.

"Can we do this inside? I'm getting cold."

Suddenly he looks so small and vulnerable before me, as if one wrong word could shatter him like thin ice. Then I see the goosebumps lining his bare arms. Shrugging off the trench coat that has replaced the one of old, I place the black clothing around his shoulders. A lifetime ago he would have punched me for the gentlemanly gesture, but instead he smiles weakly and pulls the coat warmed by my body heat closer around him.

There is only the sound of our footsteps as we walk back, both of us too deep in thought. He said that I'd have choices to make after his announcement. For the life of me, I can only see one - do I stay or leave? No matter what his answers will be to the various questions of when and how this came about, it doesn't change the fact that he is (Hyne, help me) pregnant. With my child. I'm going to be a father whether I want to or not. Shit, I'm too young for this crap.

We enter through the backdoor, Squall sitting purposefully in a sofa chair meant for one. I sit on the edge of the adjacent couch, trying not to smile at the sight of him still clutching onto the dark coat around his shoulders. As his way, he starts without preamble.

"Do you remember D-district prison? The one night we had?"

I feel like I've been splashed with cold water. Of course, the one night that the presence of a sorceress wasn't in my mind and her gift of Squall. The angle of entry and feel of him around me had been all wrong, but I managed to convince myself that I was imagining it since Squall found great pleasure in the act. To my shame, I had even thought of asking the sorceress for more of that drug.

"She did something to me after I fell unconscious from the torture. To put it bluntly, you were fucking me like a woman."

The blood. Virgin blood. "Heh, so I was your first for both ways. Not bad. So…well…are you a hermaphrodite now?"

"No. That opening is gone, but the uterus stayed. Best we can figure is that the spell was cast incorrectly."

"Then the birth...?"

"Cesarean section. That's what pushed me to see Dr Kadowaki, though I thought she was going to laugh me out of the room at first."

"Nah, I think it just adds to her list of 'now I have seen everything', though I bet you're topping the list at this moment."

It's quiet for a few moments. "I'm impressed. You're taking this rather well."

I swallow back the hysterical laughter that wants to sound and prove to the man that it’s only the shock of this situation that is keeping me seemingly calm. "I don’t… Hyne, Squall, I don’t even know what to think. Tell me, why did you choose to go through with this?"

He leans back into the chair, placing his hands on the growing belly. "Laguna, my father, said something that surprisingly made sense - life is an amazing thing. I've done so much killing and been responsible for the death of too many people under me, it's reviving to help create a bit of life in this world."

"Sounds like a good dad." I can't keep the touch of jealousy from my voice.

"Whatever. He's a klutz and an imbecile that can't even navigate his way through the building he has lived in for twenty years."

I smile widely at his attempt to cover up the newly formed relationship between father and son. It's almost as if the world would come to an end the second Squall admitted to the strong emotions he held for only a hand full of people.

"Anyhow, turns out my choice didn't matter."

"Eh?"

"We had the minor mystery of why I didn't miscarry during the first important weeks. Found out by chance that I have something like a pet who seems to enjoy the idea of me having a baby."

"Going to make me guess about this?"

Squall just shakes his head before standing up from the chair and going into the adjoining kitchen. He takes a small bag out of the fridge and walks back in the room. He removes something that looks like a strip of bamboo from the bag and holds it just above his stomach. It's a rather unnerving sight when a fuzzy green head pokes out from Squall, large ears twitching as the creature sniffs the supposed treat. Carbuncle takes the strip into its mouth before climbing up the brunet and sitting far too comfortably on his shoulder.

"The little guy has been shielding our child all this time. I nearly had a heart attack when he first popped out of me. How was I supposed to know he liked sugarcane, too?"

And that was the limit for me, seeing the fluff ball of cuteness resting on Squall's shoulder like it belonged there. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard that tears formed in my eyes. Seeing the brunet's frown, I try to reassure that I'm not laughing at him _per se_ , but I can't find the air to speak any words. I collapse on the couch and attempt to muffle the laughter while biting into a cushion.

Suddenly there is a weight on me, and when I move onto my back, I get a face full of fur as the small GF turns a couple times on my chest before curling up with a content sigh. That quickly ruins my moment of humor.

"Squa-all. What is it doing?"

He smirks down at me before retaking his seat. "I think he recognizes you as the other daddy."

"Give me a break. How do I get rid of it?"

A shrug. "Whenever he feels like moving since the child isn't in any danger."

I glare at the little bastard on my chest, but don't even dare think of knocking it off. I do have some value for my life and upsetting a guardian force just isn't a smart thing to do. Besides, there's now a glimmer of happiness that had been vacant in Squall's eyes since I first came. I can suffer a bit of humiliation for the greater cause.

"So..."

I grin at the quiet voice. Funny how I can hear the rest of what he says without a single word spoken. "You're crazy if you think I'm going anywhere."

His lips form a small, pleased smile just before odd look comes to his face, then he abruptly stands up and walks to the far side of the room. Carbuncle jumps off me to follow its apparent master, giving me free movement to jump off the couch and chase after the fleeing man. I reach him in time to have a door slammed in my face.

"Shit! Squall, what's wrong?"

"Just give me a moment," comes the muffled reply. That's when I realize he rushed into the bathroom.

Sliding down the opposing wall, I glance to the side and see the green fluff ball. I swear it purposely sticks its tongue at me before walking through the solid door. Not quite believing the obvious excuse for Squall running into the bathroom, I wait impatiently while sitting on the carpeted floor. Too much time passes without sound. Standing back up, I risk trying the door to find it unlocked. Maybe I'll save those lessons of manual locks on doors for later. Inside, I find Squall sitting in the bath, his face turned to the wall.

"You know, that tends to work better when you don't have clothes on and there's some water to sit in."

"Get out, Seifer."

Instead I kneel by the tub and force him to look at me. Tears stream down from his stormy eyes, the vision previously unimaginable and now simply awe inspiring. His head bends forward to rest against my chest, the sight of his tears hidden from view.

"I can't stop them sometimes." He sniffs. "Fucking hormones."

I move my hand to run fingers through thick hair. "Should I be worried that I made you cry?"

"No. I swear I'm happy, but the tears won't stop."

Poor guy. Practically an entire lifetime spent holding too much in, and now those tight seals have been cracked and corroded. He must be a mess of tension and emotions by now. And to think he believed he could handle this alone.

I kiss the dark hair. "It's alright, sweetheart. I'm here."

A hand grips my choker and twists the metal painfully. "Call me that again, and I won't hesitate to take your head off."

Wincing at the honest threat, I nod my consent before my breathing abilities are returned to me. Note to self - find Lion Heart and hide that blade from Squall before he decides to have a truly bitchy moment.


	2. Chapter 2

|Squall|

My eyes snap open in the darkness, and it takes the length of several loud heartbeats to recognize where I am. But before I can fully comprehend the details of this reality, something slides under my tank top and proceeds up along the rise of my stomach. Panic proceeding reason, I wrench the arm from me and hurry out of the bed in escape.

"Squall... what the hell?"

Somehow my heart pounds even faster at the deep voice as I turn around to face him. He had switched on the lamp, the light behind Seifer creating an arrangement of deep shadows across his face. Suddenly I'm backed into the wall, no where to go. Sliding down the barrier slowly, I end up sitting on the floor as my arms cover the unborn child... our unborn son. No, this should be safe. Seifer would never--

"Another nightmare?"

I nod, unable to speak as I brace myself against tears. When did it require effort to hold them in?

"Are you going to tell me about it?"

A shake of the head.

"You've got to give me more credit, Squally-boy. In the last four nights of the five total I've been here, you've woken up from a nightmare. Call me paranoid, but you backing away from me just now like a lamb from a wolf makes me wonder if I have the lead role in those dreams of yours."

"I trust you," I manage to whisper, emotions slowly coming back under my control.

"More than I deserve. Now talk before I have to resort to more drastic measures."

"It's just a dream." At his silence, I look into green eyes and find no room for argument. Damn him for being too stubborn. "It starts with you glaring at me, saying something about your mistress. Then I realize I'm bound to the wall in the prison, unable to do anything as... as you take the baby from me. You say he was never mine, that he belongs to the sorceress for all of eternity and that I should be grateful to have been chosen to bear him. Then you leave me there to bleed and... left alone..." Too fresh. The dream and emotions are too fresh for me to handle.

"Shit... shit, **shit, SHIT**!" Seifer rips the sheet off himself, almost off the mattress as well, and stands up from the bed. He walks heatedly most of the way to the door before pausing to contain some of the anger at himself and then he turns to face me, lips curled in a pathetic mimic of a smirk. "I fucked up, and there's no going back. You'll be better off without me."

"No."

"I'll sleep on the couch and leave in the morning."

"Get the fuck back here and help me up."

He hesitates. "Don't change my mind, Squall. I'll just hurt you again. You know that even if you refuse to admit it consciously."

I don't dignify the words with a comment, only glare at him until he submits and comes over to me. We both know I don't need the aid in standing, but that isn't what this is about. It's about me never letting him simply run off again. When I take his extended hand, I make certain that my grip is painful on his arm.

"It's only a dream. I'll get over it. But this..." I place his hand on my stomach. "I don't want to do this without you."

I used to think it wasn't worth it to depend on someone, always wondering why people would subject themselves to the possibility of hurt when you'll only find yourself alone in the end. At that time, I had convinced myself that I didn't need Seifer. Loved him, wanted him, but I didn't need him in my life. These last several days with him returned have shown me otherwise. I never realized that with one small addition, life could feel right and worth it. I'm beginning to believe that people don't chose to depend on another, but rather it comes without warning or plan that two lives intertwine. The resulting separation would be painful, but perhaps it's not an inevitable break if you work to make things right.

Seifer looks down at his hand, light green eyes filtered through blond lashes in my view. For once it's the larger man lost in thought, trying to find some sense in the world. He wants to run, but not from me. I'll have to teach him a lesson I learned the hard way - you can't run from yourself.

"Stay. Don't make me beg."

His eyes widen before a small smile appears on his face and he rubs my stomach. "You never beg."

Hooking a hand behind his neck, I pull him forward enough that I can reach his mouth with mine. The man is too tall, perhaps an inch or two gained in the past months. Soft flesh against soft flesh, I kiss him seriously for the first time since he has returned to me. Gently nipping at his lower lip, I try to get him to respond. When he doesn't, I pull away to question him. His free hand is suddenly at my lower back, pressing me tightly against his body. I don't care for not having my entire body flat and touching his, but it's strangely confronting to have our growing child between us. Then we truly kiss, our first duel in a long time.

He breaks the kiss. "Would it make you upset if I said I really want you right now?"

I can't hide my shock. "When I look like this?"

"And how exactly do you look?"

"Unfuckable."

He sputters out a laugh. "Hyne, as if that was possible."

"I... I need to go to the bathroom first," I whisper embarrassingly. In truth, I'm also unsure if I am quite ready for sex yet. Just a little over a week ago, the nausea and tiredness finally evaporated from me, but I still haven't found any desire to masturbate, the last time being months past. For a healthy teenage boy, that's a somewhat distressing reality.

"Mmm, a shower sounds good."

A chill passes through my body at the sound of his voice, rough with obvious need. How could I deny anything spoken in that tone?

Some time later, Seifer coaxes me under the flow of warm-hot water of the two opposing showerheads. It's refreshing under that stream, the cleansing of dried sweat from my skin also washing away some of the aftereffects of the nightmare. He comes close behind me, lips brushing the back of my ear.

"Your hair has gotten long." Fingers rake through the wet locks. "Close your eyes."

I follow the order, the sound of an opening bottle registering to my ears. Strong fingers are then in my hair, massaging the scalp beneath as he shampoos the dark strands. It feels amazing under his touch. Difficult to believe these are the same hands that bound me to a wall to be tortured. They are simply too caring, too gentle. After the soapy medium is washed from my hair, his touch is momentarily gone as he places conditioner onto his hands. The massage restarting, I savor his pampering touch.

Apparently done with washing my hair, his hands travel downward with the pleasing pressure of his knuckles along my spine. Wrapping forward from my lower back, he squeezes just above my hipbones, his thumbs massaging in circular motions as he presses into my back. If Seifer stops, I may have to kill him.

"You feel so much softer."

"I haven't exactly been able to run around with a gunblade lately."

"Does this mean I can take advantage of you without a struggle?"

I can't form a response when he adds more pressure, a quiet moan escaping my lips. Hyne, I didn't realize how stiff my lower back had gotten over time. There's additional warmth at my neck as he licks the bit not covered by hair, teeth lightly grazing my skin. With a low growl, he turns me to the right such that the streams of water won't hit us directly.

"Soap or shampoo?"

His cock is hard against my crack, grinding in tiny motions. The echo of want within me at his contact is a quiet relief. "Don't need it."

"It's been a long time."

"I know what I can handle."

As he draws back in reply, I lean forward to brace myself against the tiled wall. It's not much in the way of support, but I trust his strength to keep me standing. The sharp pain of his entrance was expected, but rougher than I had hoped for. By his hesitation, I know Seifer senses this as well. It's always baffled me how he could worry about harming me this way while he has never held back with Hyperion. His blade has drawn more blood than his dick ever will. Showing my continued desire, I wiggle back enough to bury him all the way, forcing my breaths to be relaxed.

Seifer had never needed much in the way of persuasion. He pumps carefully in and out of me, hands slowly trailing up my body as calluses scratch lightly against skin. Eventually they go up my arms and link with my hands as he starts to thrust harder. I become pleasure numb as I feel only him against and within me, his harsh breaths and groans the only sounds.

A random thought emerges as I think to our son, "This is your daddy."

From the time of abstinence, my release comes too quickly for my own desires. The strength leaves my legs, but Seifer's continued motions and arms now wrapped around my chest keeps me standing long enough for him to come deep within me. Slowly lowering us to the floor, he kisses my neck in silent expressions of appreciation.

"I want omelets."

He pauses a moment before responding. "Are you trying to insult me?"

"You made me hungry. Make them with ham, tons of cheese, and black olives."

"Spoiled brat. You're lucky I can cook without melting down the stove."

"It was just the grill and it happened once."

He snickers, certainly at the returned memory of the mandatory cooking class. Well, mandatory for Seifer and me in the form of cruel punishment for fighting in the cafeteria (how we ended up there from the training center, I haven't a clue). The instructor never could figure out how I managed to cause the metal grill to melt within the one hour class period. Of course Seifer will never let me live it down, the bastard miraculously topping the class. At the time, I had thought his only motivation was to impress the female majority of the class. How was I supposed to know back then that he actually wanted to watch me licking his spoons, my eyes closed in pleasure from the excellent taste.

"Go make my omelets."

"Am I allowed to dress first, or would you prefer the 'naked with apron' look?"

"Nn, you know what I like."

~><~

I wake to the feel of Seifer tensing to my side, but I don't have it in me to actually open my eyes. The porch swing sways beneath us when he sits up straighter and removes his arm from my waist. I suppose something is wrong, but I don't feel anything threatening around us and I'm too relaxed to care. The late afternoon breeze feels nice against my neck as well as the small rocking motions of the swing, and I'm still exhausted from too many nights of interrupted sleep, not too mention other activities at the discovery of returned sexual appetite.

"Who the fuck are you?" Seifer growls out.

There's a light laugh, and then I know everything is just fine. "It's certainly a surprise to see you here, Seifer Almasy."

"What do you want?"

"Ah, sorry. I'm used to people recognizing me before I know them. The name is Laguna Loire."

Seifer tenses up even more. "Squall's... father?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Now, may I ask why are you in my home with my son?"

The poor man to my side practically stops breathing. Though it could be more fun otherwise, I decide to be merciful. "Because I want him here with me." I open my eyes to look at Laguna, the longhaired man currently leaning back against the porch railing. "I didn't realize you were coming earlier than usual."

"Hoping to surprise you, though it appears the reverse happened."

"Sorry to not ask for your permission first, but Seifer is the father. He has the right to be here."

His eyes widen in shock, mouth not quite working at first to create words. "I... I didn't realize. Why didn't you say...?"

"... ..." Although Dr Kadowaki knew some kind of intercourse had taken place, I let my father assume Ultimecia was responsible for all of the pregnancy, never correcting him that she only created the setting while Seifer and I had done the actual impregnation. Back then, I think I avoided the issue simply because I didn't want to deal with that part of my reality - I was going to raise a child alone. While I know I wouldn't have been truly alone, it's not the same without the father partner. And frankly, no one could replace Seifer.

An arm returns around my waist. "Can you blame him, bearing the ex-Sorceress Knight's child?"

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just didn't care to remind myself that you weren't around." Ignoring the wince from Seifer, I stand up from the porch swing and walk to the entrance before speaking to Laguna. "Want something to drink?"

"Uh, I think I'll follow you inside."

I shrug in response and walk through the open doorway. In the kitchen, I pour myself some orange juice while Laguna rummages in the fridge, soon finding the bottled beer in the back corner. After a long swig of the drink, he takes a chair and straddles it with the back against his chest. It's hard to believe sometimes that he's in his mid-forties.

"You're looking good. Certainly much better than the last time I visited. I assume the boy out front has something to do with that."

"He cooks well."

"Oh?" He takes another sip. "While it is quite the feat to feed you, I wonder if that is all he's done."

"... I missed him."

"You could have told me about him earlier. It wouldn't have been a problem to assign people to search for him."

"No. I didn't want that."

Laguna scowls, an unusual sight. "You must have gotten that from your mother. She never tried sending word to me, either. Probably didn't want to bother me, or trusted me to return in time to support her when I hadn't a clue what was happening back home. You can't assume people are able to read your mind, Squall. Tell us what you need."

"You've been here for me, Laguna. I appreciate it."

A shy, warm smile replaces the frown. "You know, whenever you're ready, you can call me 'Dad'. Just a selfish request on my part," he adds with a nervous scratch to his head.

Instead of responding, I take a long sip of the juice in hand. Dad. Even thinking the word, it's too foreign to feel natural in any way. But then I look directly into dark green eyes and think of the man, not just the word. Suddenly I realize that I've been referring to him as 'my father' in my thoughts for a long time now, not remembering the moment when it changed from the typical moron classification. The bastard, working his way into my life without me noticing it. But he isn't quite the fool of twenty years past, despite his occasional bouts of stupidity caused by nervousness.

"Ah, well, it's too late for today, but I was thinking it's time to start some shopping."

"... ...?"

"Babies tend not to come with cribs and clothing. I thought that it wouldn't hurt to get an early start."

I cover my eyes with a hand as thoughts explode in my head. I hadn't really considered about past the pregnancy, but at Laguna's reminder I realize just how much we'll need to get in order to be prepared for the new addition. We'll have to purchase a crib, blankets, clothes, pajamas, diapers, toys, food... Fuck, I can't breastfeed a newborn. Are there formulas for infants so young? And what about a doctor? Will this child react to medicines and spells like normal babies from a natural pairing? What if--

"Squall!"

My head jerks up at the call of the name, my father standing directly before me. When did he move?

"You were hyperventilating a bit there. Are you okay?"

"Nh. Just realized I can't have a baby."

A light laugh. "Hate to remind you, but you **are** having a baby. Nothing to do about that now."

I close my eyes as I take a cleansing breath of air, putting worries momentarily aside to tackle them one by one. At least Laguna had thought of these things now and not shortly before I'm due. The extra time should be enough to get a few things readied, though I doubt a person is ever really prepared to have a new life introduced into their world.

I look at the open entrance beyond my father, a small fear at the base of my stomach aching as I wonder if Seifer could have run off again. I trust him. I really do. But I know him, too, and I don't think I've assured him yet of just how much I actually want him here. Given a spare moment, Seifer will probably convince himself that it'd be best for me if he wasn't around. The damn ass. Putting the glass on the counter, I mumble a pardon before passing Laguna and heading outside. No longer sitting on the bench swing, Seifer leans on his arms that rest on the wide railing. At the sound of my footsteps on wood, he glances sidewise to confirm it's me.

"Thought you would want some time with your father."

"Looks like we're shopping tomorrow."

"Wondering when you were going to get around to that. So, which room is going to be the nursery?"

Hyne, I wonder if thought processes are affected by pregnancy. "I hadn't thought about it."

He grins. "I'd suggest the one cattycorner to the bedroom your using. It's close, but not taking up one of the larger rooms. We could paint it if you want some kind of theme."

"Blue for boy or something? No thanks."

"Are... is it a boy?"

"Didn't I mention that?"

He turns quickly to face me, hands gripping my shoulders. "No, you didn't, fucking bastard. I'm going to have a son?"

The nearly desperate tone amuses me. "Yes, a son. It was most probab--"

Lips are on mine, stopping my words and stunning me with the abruptness before I join in the kiss. Sometimes I feel like I draw in a bit of Seifer whenever we kiss, his breath and skin so much warmer than mine, heating me in every way. He pulls back from the joining, but hugs me close as a hand rakes through my hair.

"Sorry. I would've been happy with a girl, but really, what would I have to teach a daughter?"

"You underestimate yourself," I state while resting my head on his shoulder. Not surprisingly, I held the same thoughts as him when Dr Kadowaki gave me the news. A son sounds so much less fragile than a daughter, though no less frightening.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Don't be upset."

"As long as you aren't naming him after some flower, I think I'll be good."

"Isan Almasy."

"... You mean Leonhart."

"I say what I mean." I draw back from his loosened hold. "This was decided before you reappeared, and you won't change my mind."

Light green eyes narrow dangerously. "You want your son to suffer that badly? What the hell is going through your head?"

"You don't need to understand. It's what I want."

"Better damn well make me understand. Why not just name him Killer? It'd give the same effect if that's what you're looking for."

"... ..."

I cross my arms around my chest as I turn to the entrance, blinking away some of the added moisture to my eyes. At the sight of my father leaning against the doorway, I pause for a moment and then brush past him as I make my way inside. Before I step into the bedroom, I change my mind and look into the room Seifer had mentioned earlier. Too small to comfortably fit a bed and not needed considering the three bedrooms already present, the room is currently Laguna's study. As if he ever did work in this vacation home of his. I don't think he would mind sacrificing it to his only grandson.

Wiping away a couple escaping tears, I turn back to my bedroom. Mentally exhausted and walking around after only a few hours of sleep last night and a couple this afternoon, I decide to lie down for a short while before dinner. It'll probably something microwavable since Seifer shouldn't be able to cool down by then. A shame. I had forgotten how good his food could be.

* * *

 

|Seifer|

As I watch the retreating form, I try to bite back some of the anger that flows too easily out of me sometimes. How could I just lash out at him like that? I should know better than to do that with Mr. Talk-to-the-Wall. And in front of his father at the same time. Am I begging to get shot to hell and buried without a tombstone, or what?

"Need one?" Laguna waves a beer bottle.

"Heh, that's the last thing I need. Swore off the shit a little while back."

"You're too young for it, anyway," he states before sipping some of the dark liquid. "Are you going to go beg for his forgiveness or is it a cold bed for you tonight?"

I smirk as I sit down onto the porch swing. "I've been sleeping solo for months anyway, and there's no way I'm apologizing for him being daft in the head."

"You're not going even try to see it his way, are you?"

"You _agree_ with him!? What the hell. Is this some pathetic attempt to gain his trust as his dependable daddy?" The echoes of 'shut up, shut up' were ringing through my head while the words leave my mouth.

Amazingly he laughs. "We both know he doesn't give his trust away so easily. Now, if you are done, tell me why you think Squall is planning this?" He points at me when my mouth opens. "Not what's wrong with his thinking, but why he would want this."

"I don't know, maybe because he considers I technically have the father role. But a kid shouldn't grow up with the kind weight my name will force on him."

"And you think the name Leonhart would be any easy to bear?"

"Yes!" is the automatic response, but once it's said, I know that isn't the truth.

"Not to burst your bubble or anything, but many people only know you as the ever so fearsome Sorceress Knight, not by your name. Even the first warrants for your death only listed that title, your true name never joined with the rather unflattering photo. Leonhart, however, is known worldwide. Commander Leonhart, the Lion of Balamb and savior of humanity. It would be quite the shadow to be buried under."

"Better than my shadow," I mutter, though not too certain of my case anymore. I'm also being rather arrogant thinking I happen to be the only bearer of the name Almasy, but so close to Squall, what are others supposed to believe?

"If you ask me, though, I don't think that is Squall's reason for using your name."

"Enough. I get your point that I'm an unthinking asshole, which is no new revelation I assure you."

He smirks, the shape a perfect match to Squall's. "He's right - you do underestimate yourself."

"You don't know me."

"But Squall does, and I trust his judgment." Tilting back the bottle, he drinks down the last of the beer. "Well, normally I'd offer to take us out to dinner, but I doubt my son will care to be out in public much for the next several months. Anything in the fridge to heat up?"

I can't hold it back any longer. "Why do you give a shit about him now? It's been seventeen years."

Unfazed, Laguna stands up from the wall he was leaning on. "Because I've been running for all those years and he caught up to me anyway. Because I've always _given a shit_ about my son and thought I was doing right by him. Because I now want the honor of being a proud father." He shrugs. "But what use are reasons and excuses. Love is love, whether between father and son or between two supposed enemies."

All I can think is that Squall is one lucky bastard to find his father, a man who turned out to be someone reliable. I think I remember a drunken fool who loved the cane far too much and my mother not at all. Then again, it could be something I dreamed up to make myself a victim in life. Who knows, and who cares.

With a deep sigh, I stand from the bench and straighten. "I can make up some pasta rather quickly. Nothing fancy, but at least it'd be fresh."

He blinks. "You really do cook?"

A pot of boiling water, pasta, random dairy products, and an hour later, I knock lightly on the door to invite the brunet out for some dinner. At the lack of response, I open the door slowly and look inside. The last bits of daylight filter through thin curtains onto part of his body as Squall lies on the bed, one arm resting on his stomach and the other hooked under the pillow. He looks serene while in seemly dreamless sleep, but unfortunately he's not allowed to miss anymore meals.

I kneel down at the bedside and let my hand glide down his far side while I lean in close to him and inhale the both familiar yet new smell of Squall. There isn't the scent of leather and gunpowder anymore, but the underlying fragrance is equally if not more so pleasing to my senses. He shifts and moans quietly, a small smile form on his lips that I can't resist kissing. Stormy blues open slowly, the subtle humor reflecting in their depths.

"You taste like alfredo sauce."

"Because you weren't around to taste test for me. Come on, it's dinner time."

He doesn't move from his position. "... I was wrong to say that you didn't need to know."

"It's fine. I talked--"

He interrupts. "I want him to know his origins, who he is. I've chosen to always be there for our son, but I'd never demand the same from you. With you in hiding for so long..." He takes a breath before staring at me with determined eyes. "All I can give him of you is your name, and I want him to have it."

After a short time spent in thought, I place my hand in his hair and bring our foreheads together. "Only you gave a shit about me, thought I had some kind of worth in this world. Even that bitch of a sorceress didn't want me. She wanted you."

"Stop this."

"It's okay. Really. Because I'm going to live up to those hopeless expectations of yours someday. I'll make Almasy a proud name for our son."

A cool hand strokes my cheek as his eyes tell me that he already considers the name a proud one. But instead of speaking the words, he sighs in momentary defeat. "You mentioned dinner?"

"Nh, and I even saved a couple spoons for you to lick for my personal enjoyment."

~><~

It's almost a guilty pleasure as I walk with Squall pressed close to my side. The baby store has been left behind us about a block back, but he's still acting like he would hide within my coat if possible. Turns out that his longer hair worked to our benefit, the saleswoman believing Squall a typical pregnant customer. While it didn't serve to ease him much, his worry of us picking out something to only harass him outweighed the nervousness of being out in public.

Grinning, I think of the flower print dress the saleswoman suggested for Squall, mentioning that it would complement his eyes. My approval was quickly shot down by an icy glare as he informed the woman we were only here for baby items, not maternity wear. For a guy who typically wears six belts, Squall just doesn't understand the appeal of kink. After several hours of deciding what was needed, colors to get, and which luxury items were worth the gil, I think we have quite a nice base of preparation. With everything in stock being delivered in about a week, it'll give Laguna and me enough time to clean out the room meant for the nursery. Squall has already been informed he is not touching anything.

My moment of amused recollection ends when there is abruptly a slight drag as we walk, but then the pace starts back again as if nothing happened. Curious, I look to the side and notice us passing an ice cream store. I stop in place, making Laguna look back at us in confusion.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm in the mood for something cold. Mind if we drop in for a scoop or two of ice cream?"

Though his expression is neutral, Squall clutches my arm a bit too tightly as if he was caught red-handed at something.

"Well, I guess, if Squall doesn't mind."

"Then we're agreed," I state without letting the brunet form his own response.

The store is bare of customers except one woman still deciding on what to get. Holding Squall close, I stand up to the window of various selections, some of the flavors sounding down right frightening (tell me that really isn't Grat Juice), but at least the standard favorites are also available within the mixture of drums.

"What do you want?"

"I'm fine," Squall replies while his blue-gray eyes fixed on a certain container of ice cream tell me differently. Stubborn idiot.

I look up to get the attention of the young worker, but he is currently finishing off the woman's order, a thick layer of hot fudge being poured onto a scoop of simple vanilla. I almost miss the tip of a tongue as Squall subconsciously licks his upper lip. Well, I suppose he is going through a chocolate phase at the moment. That could leave for some interesting possibilities.

When the worker asks, I give him the order of two large cups of 'chocolate passion' with hot fudge on one of the servings. Squall of course frowns at me for placing an order for him, but the expression doesn't last for too long. I catch a glimpse of a pleased smile before he leans up to tell me he'll be right back. It must be annoying to have a kid sitting on your bladder all day long.

"How do you do that?"

I turn to Laguna. "Do what?"

"Know exactly what he wants when he won't tell you."

"It's gift. After years of not getting a vocal response out of that gorgeous wall, I started to watch him closely for the subtle stuff. Doubt he even realizes half the things he does that contradicts what he says."

The older man smiles warmly, and I recognize instantly how he conned a whole country into following him. "I'm glad you're here with him."

"As long as he wants me, I'm not going anywhere."

~><~

The room soon to be nursery is currently stripped of furniture, cleaned of dust and cobwebs, and merely waiting for the new furniture coming within the week. His planned tasks done within the weekend, Laguna said his goodbyes to us this morning as he returned to the demands of his title. Squall has already found a comfortable sitting position as he takes up the whole couch while reading one of the various baby books his father had brought from Esthar. That leaves me with no excuse to postpone the inevitable, and I pick up the phone to call Balamb Garden.

At the inquiry by a mechanical voice, I ask for Rinoa Heartilly, hoping that they managed to place her in the directory. Looking up at the sound of the name, Squall glances at me curiously. I mouth to him 'payback', to which he shrugs and returns to his book.

"Hello?"

"Hey, doll face. How goes it?"

"Seifer!? Where are you? Why did it take you so long to call? Is Squall there? Is he okay? Oh, Seifer, we've been so worried!"

I laugh at the rushed words, trying to decide myself where to start. "We're fine, we're fine. I found him last week and we've been... adjusting, I guess you could say. Just calling to inform you everything is A-okay."

"Oh, no you don't. I got burned for letting you run off without anyone else getting a word in. I want details. Is everything good between you two?"

"Much better than good. I'm going to be sticking around with him here."

"Where?"

"You have to be more sneaky than that, doll. If Squall wants to tell you, he will. Though I think he wants to keep this quiet for at least a few more months. Maybe longer."

"A few _months_? Is he there? Let me talk him out of this."

"Hold on. Hey, bookworm. Her highness wishes a word with you."

Squall frowns at me then extends a hand for the cordless phone. "Rinoa." There's a long pause before he speaks again. "I'm sorry. I know I've caused worry, but really nothing is wrong." ... "No, I'm not dying. The opposite actually." ... "B Garden is fine without me. Anyhow, I resigned." ... "What _?_ " ... " _What_? By who's orders?" ... "I am not--" ... "Tell Cid I will be calling him about this matter. He can't arbitrarily do this." ... "I know. In a few months, it may be easier for me to explain it to you guys." ... "I promise." ... "I am. Seifer has been making sure of that." ... "Can't promise. Listen, I'm going to hand you back to Seifer."

And thus I get back the phone. "Sounds like you didn't succeed."

"He's too stubborn. In fact, the both of you are. How do you two get anything done?"

"We manage. So, what's the big news?"

"Squall can talk to you about it. I'm meeting Selphie and Quistis for lunch, and they'll really want to hear that you both are alive. Promise me to take care of him, and _call_. We miss you guys."

"If you say so, doll. Don't bore them too much about us."

After putting the phone back into its recharge cradle, I go to the couch and lift up Squall's legs so I can sneak under them and sit down comfortably. He stares at the closed book in his lap, a familiar zoning appearance plastered on his face. He looks so damn fuckable with that cross-eyed expression of his.

"What's up, honey?"

Squall winces, then glares at me as his heel comes dangerously close to my treasured body part before I catch his foot.

"No 'honey', huh? How about 'baby'? 'Sugar'?"

The scowl deepens. "What's with you and these ridiculous pet names? Don't treat me like some girl you're dating."

"They are also called terms of endearment. Just showing you how much I love you, snuggle bunny."

The gleam of ice in his eyes brings a chill to my spine. "I don't have to make your death a quick one, and no one would blame me for dealing with the Sorceress Knight. Understood?"

In defiance, I grin widely. "So, what do you need to have words with Cid about?"

He huffs at the change in topic. "Apparently my resignation was denied and I've been promoted to Assistant Headmaster."

"Ha, hasn’t he noticed that you haven't been around for the new job?"

"I'm on temporary leave according to the records. Worse, the job is meant to train me for the position of Headmaster at Esthar Garden."

"Better and better. I didn't realize there was a Garden in Esthar."

"It's in the making. Fuck, I can't be Headmaster. Cid is always doing this crap without thinking about my response."

His foot still in my hand, I decide that I might as well massage it. "You seemed to handle Balamb Garden by yourself just fine, and that was during a war. Face it, people look up to you for leadership. And you would be closer to your father this way."

Squall looks at me incredulously. "Childbearing isn't a short-term thing."

"And mothers with children are allowed to work. You will be in control of an entire Garden, so you can do whatever the hell you want. Better yet, as Headmaster, you won't be directly involved with the battles. You could probably keep Isan in the office with you."

"You aren't helping."

"Maybe you can fool yourself, but not me. Do you really think you'll be able to put all your fighting instincts aside to become a housewife? You'd go stir crazy within the week. Right now you're dealing with being pregnant, something no man should have to do, and it's taking up your energy. But you haven't been raised to sit back and do shit."

He sits there quiet for a long time before announcing, "I'm taking you down with me."

"Sure. I don't mind hanging around a Garden again, but I'm not taking classes ever again. A guy can only fail the final test so many times before his mind snaps."

"I mean, you're going to be Commander of SeeDs in Esthar."

"...Excuse me? Forgetting the fact that I should be a SeeD before I can command them--"

"You are. I managed to promote you to SeeD level 15 for your skill in leadership and fighting abilities."

"You didn't."

"I did. Endorsed fully by Cid. While you were technically on the wrong side, you still showed some of your potential."

"You sneaky asshole."

He smirks victoriously. "At least I'm not a snuggle bunny anymore."

I push his legs off me and crawl up over him. My hands braced on the couch arm, I look straight down into stormy eyes. Love is such a strange emotion, hiding in the back of your mind until an unexpected moment when it seems to drown every other thought and feeling. First licking the soft lips, I work my tongue into his mouth before our lips press together. There's a faint taste of chocolate from the ice cream he had for lunch, the man silently grateful that I had thought of getting a gallon of the frozen treat that he enjoyed. We should've dropped by the store for hot fudge, though. I'll have to postpone those plans for now, I suppose. A hand cups my crotch, forcing me to pull back with a hiss.

"Is this a clue that I need to reward you for good behavior?"

"Mmm, you better. I might become a delinquent again without the proper motivation."

"Up," he orders with a slap to my hip.

Smirking, I stand up from the couch while Squall takes a pillow and places it on the floor. Sometimes I feel like I could come from the mere sight of the proud man kneeling before me. I almost did the first time he offered to suck me off. Those words from such soft lips can't be legal. Lifting up my shirt, he attacks my navel straightaway, nipping at the rim and licking in and out of the cavity, while his hands slowly undo constricting jeans. Why does his pace always get insanely slow when he is control?

My jeans and boxers are pushed down to my knees as his mouth travels further down bit by bit, unhurried despite the sight of my twitching cock. Clutching fists to my side, I refuse to submit to the need of demanding him to get to the heart of the matter. It's just another game in our power play, and respect isn't won by giving in too soon. His hands cup my ass, kneading in rhythm with his mouth that finally moves to the base of my erection and slowly trails upward.

The second he takes the head gently between his teeth, my hands move to grip his hair for a sense of support, but I don't dare try to force him to take in more of me. That would be only counterproductive. Closing my eyes, I focus on nothing but the sensation of slowly being drawn into his mouth. Not paying attention, the pressure of a knuckle of his bent finger pressing against my asshole makes me thrust forward fully into him. Unfazed, he goes with the movement to start into some sucking action while he works my anus at the same time.

As if I could last long with that kind of attention.

By the time my senses return from the orgasmic overload, Squall has finished cleaning off my softened length and wipes the corners of his mouth. Pulling up my clothes enough to be able to kneel comfortably, I join him on the floor.

"Thank you, lover."

He scoffs. "You are incorrigible."

"And what shall I be doing to repay the favor?"

"Nothing. Not in the mood."

"What? Squall, you could've told me that sooner. You didn't--"

He kisses me on the lips and mumbles through the joining, "I wanted to."

Still fuzzy from the pleasure high and with soft flesh coaxing my mouth open, I can't find it in me to lecture him about mutual satisfaction. Instead I enjoy the simple kiss while rubbing a hand along the side of the bulge of stomach. Beautiful. Everything that he is and everything that he does is beautiful perfection. Perhaps that is why I wasn't too worried under the control of the sorceress, knowing that whichever side Squall led was destined to win. I would have happily died by his blade, but he chose to spare my life instead, just as he chose to protect the life of my child, our son.

...Hyne, I'm going to be a father. The possibility of death wasn't nearly as terrifying as this.


	3. Chapter 3

|Squall|

"Do you know where my shoes are?"

"In the closet, I would imagine." The blond head never lifts as he flips through some weapons magazine.

"I looked."

"Then how about near the back entrance?"

"Those are my boots. I want my sneakers."

The unintentional whine quality to my voice makes Seifer glance up, that irritating smile in full form. "Let me get this straight - you're about to cry over not finding the right pair of shoes?"

"I am not." I palm the moisture from my eyes. "Shit, I hate this. Just grab Hyperion and get him the hell out of me."

"Sorry, I think I'll leave that for the professionals. You're almost there, Squally-boy. One more month."

Crossing my arms, I glare at Seifer. "Easy for you to say. You only had to fuck me while I was drugged out of my mind and your job was finished. Meanwhile, I'm fucking tired from waking up every half-hour to take a piss when I can't even see my fucking dick anymore. I was crying this morning because I had damn blueberry muffins instead of poppy seed. Now I can't find my fucking sneakers, the only shoes that still fit comfortably. And I swear, he's practicing your stupid gunblade moves anytime I'm about to get a moment of peace!"

His amused smile never falters through the unintentionally tearful rant, during which Seifer stands up to walk around me and encircle his arms loosely below the bulge of stomach. Chin resting on my shoulder, he starts to rock me as if we were moving in a slow dance.

"We're both gunblade masters. Why assume those are my moves he is testing out?"

I sniff, completely sick with myself for breaking down into tears. Yet again. "He's doing it one-handed."

"Never could break you of that two-handed habit. Always afraid the blade would go flying from your grasp."

"I hate you."

"Think we've covered that one before. Next?"

"I want sleep."

"According to those books that Laguna brought over, we're not allowed to sleep for another eighteen years. Sorry, love."

Sighing at the one term I could never get him to stop calling me by, I lean back against Seifer. "Why do you put up with me?"

"Because I'm expecting payback in the form of unending, mind blowing sex once the kid is tossed out of the house."

"Dream on, Almasy."

"Truthfully though, I'm having a blast."

If it weren't for Seifer's continued swaying, I would have stopped in shock. "I suggest not joking with me."

"I wouldn't have believed it either, but it's amusing to watch your two sides battle it out." Showing no fear, he chuckles at my growl. "Once I was able to keep a blade out of your hands, you haven't been hard to deal with. And I think you've talked more in the past few months than in your entire lifetime. I don't know. Guess I feel kind of special for receiving privileged access to those thoughts of yours"

"... I've been selfish."

"No, you've been pregnant."

Closing my eyes, I savor the soothing motion of being rocked by the larger man. I think half the people in B Garden would have laughed at me if I suggested this calmer, gentle side of Seifer existed. The rest of Garden would have checked me for a high fever. I've come to the conclusion that the more insane I get, the more mature the blond becomes. It's as if we form some kind of scale - as one side unbalances, the other adjusts to maintain the tricky equilibrium. Makes me a bit worried about what will happen once I regain my normal state of mind.

"Ah, there they are." He releases his hold and walks over to the coffee table. "I must have left them under here when you fell asleep on the couch the other night."

Holding back the untrue comment that he purposely hid the sneakers just to see me cry, I more fall than sit on the couch and stick a socked foot in his face.

"Would I please help you? Why, yes, my royal Ice Princess. I'd love to since you asked so sweetly."

"Just put on the shoes, slave."

~><~

I can't suppress the tiny shivers that course through my body, and it isn't from the chill of the room in addition to the lack of decent clothing. Sitting on the examination table, I can't help but feel the three sets of eyes peering at me. Dr Kadowaki introduced me to these colleagues of hers, assuring me both that the man and two women were required for the cesarean to proceed smoothly and that they would never speak of this in public. Though by the look behind one pair of glasses, I know I will be receiving numerous requests to let him do a research paper on me.

A warm hand settles on my shoulder as Dr Kadowaki directs me to lie down so she can do the ultrasound as she has done many times over the months. Over an hour has already been spent on this examination, and I just don't care anymore. My nerves are completely on edge by the strangers prodding me with fingers and questions, never really letting on that they consider me human. Right now all I want is to be in bed with warm sheets covering and hiding me from the world.

"And there he is, dear. Looking very handsome, if I say so myself."

I spare a neutral glance at the screen, otherwise not responding to the doctor's comments. With my senses on high alert from anxiety, I easy overhear one of the doctors whispering to her coworker that my lack of interest is exactly why men shouldn't bear children. Already spending so much energy on maintaining an indifferent mask, that statement almost breaks me.

Rougher than her normal light touch, Dr Kadowaki wipes off the excess cream from my stomach. "I think you've gone through enough for one day, Squall. Go back to your room for some rest."

Sitting up, I catch the unhappy glare from her dark eyes aimed at the female doctors. Inwardly I smile, both relieved to know I'm not overacting to the comment and that the good doctor will certainly be speaking her mind about the matter. One should never upset a mother hen. I put on a robe from a nearby table and exit the room. This entire medical floor exists beneath the presidential building, the people more so than Laguna deciding that their leader should be able to receive immediate care without travel. Sometimes I believe the people of Esthar simply enjoy to spoil their royal president.

I take the far elevator that leads directly to the wing of private rooms for the president's exclusive use. There is another wing somewhere else for guests and the like, though I consider it strange when the country was sealed tight for almost twenty years. Perhaps the building was designed for Adel's use originally. Either way, I now have a private room to call my own within these walls. Without need of thought, I walk straight there from the elevator.

"Oh, hey, Squall. Done already? I thought it was going to take the whole afternoon."

I stop briefly to look at the blond who was exiting the bathroom, but chose not to answer as I then continue towards the large bed and lie down. Hyne, I hate being on my back. Seifer, oh so perfect when he wants to be, holds back his questions and joins me on the mattress, lying as close as possible without touching me. It's almost cute when he has that uncertain expression on his face, waiting for me to give some kind of sign for what I need.

Clenching his shirt to pull him near, I bury my head in the soft fabric heated by his warmth. I cry. For once it's not from hormones or general frustration, but truly my own emotion. There's a burning ache in my chest, and I want to scream out loud to make it go away, but instead it's the tears that find their way out of me. A strong hand rests against the back of my head, not massaging or hugging but merely showing his support for when I'm ready.

My voice is rough when I finally manage to speak. "I chose wrong."

"About what?"

"About all of this. I'm not fit to be a father, let alone... Hyne, what am I?"

"A mother. Just because you are the exception to the rule that women give birth, it doesn't make you anything less. And who the hell is filling your head with ideas that you aren't able to raise a kid?

"It's the truth. A man called Shiva's Lover just can't--"

"Oh, shove it. Take it from the guy who gave you that nickname - it's a fucking lie. Now, who told you this? One of those doctor bitches, wasn't it? All high 'n' mighty because of some pathetic letters at the end of their names."

"You're biased."

"That just means I know you. Face it, you'll be a great mother, father, or whatever the hell you want to be called. Just in your own way. Don't worry, I'll certainly make up the balance."

I'm not certain whether to take that as a threat or a promise. "You're going to make a horrid father, aren't you."

"Damn right. The way you'll be overprotecting the brat, someone will have to toughen him up."

"Me overprotecting?"

"Look at the way you handled Rinoa, carrying her all the way here from FH. Better yet, jumping into space without a plan of how to bring her back safely. What were you thinking?"

"Clearly, I wasn't," I mutter in reply. In truth, I couldn't stop replaying the vision of Rinoa as she leaned over to revive the man we had battled with, Seifer walking away without sparing a glance at me. It had cut deeply, especially when I was just then coming to terms with my condition. I needed Rinoa at that point. To smile at me, tell me everything would turn out fine. And among our group, she's the only other one who knows about this second side of the blond bully. I needed that connection back to him.

"Whatever you want me to believe. Mommy."

I cringe. "I am _not_ going to be called 'mommy'."

A deep, conspiring chuckle comes from him. "You know, I think I like the sound of that. Maybe I can make it his first word."

"You wouldn't."

"Payback's a bitch, Headmaster. Don't tell me you didn't expect some kind of revenge for making me your lackey."

"But... _mommy?_ That's... that's just--"

"Absolutely perfect in so many ways."

"At this rate, you do realize you won't live long enough to witness his first birthday."

He kisses my forehead. "That's the man I worship. Stop worrying so much."

"... ..." It's always so simple for him. 'Do what your guts tell you and you'll survive just fine, pretty boy.' No thoughts. No reason. Only his romantic dreams giving him the goals to strive for. Sometimes I wonder if those dreams were put on hold so he could take care of me. I'm too afraid to ask.

"Come on, Mommy. Time for dinner."

And I swear, the moment I find Lion Heart, his romantic dreams will end permanently.

~><~

It's annoying to stare at the blue screen that blocks my view, knowing my body is being attacked in a way I would have never imagined only a year ago. Focusing on the beeps of nearby monitors, I zone out the tones of the doctors speaking. No use getting upset over their comments now. Though, it's not like I'm clear headed enough to truly want to focus on those words.

Standing with his back firmly to the surgery, Seifer watches me and speaks random nonsense. He has already stated his refusal to see me sliced open and bleeding before him ever again. Not that I can blame him, but damn it, I want to know what's happening while my midsection is numbed from pain. This is my body, and I'm just not comfortable having people do whatever they want to me.

"Absolutely incredible," I hear the male doctor state.

Though I feel barely anything, there is the mild sensation of some pressure and pulling. Then eventually there is the healthy cry of one cold and unhappy kid. Unable to resist any longer, Seifer looks over his shoulder at the scene taking place.

"Shit, he's... he's so _purple_."

I can't help a grin at his unusually goofy smile. The proud father. Hyne, I never thought him the type, but he has certainly proved himself to me over the past difficult months. And now... I don't think I've ever loved him more than at this moment. Taking the hand near me, I regain the blond's attention.

"Love you."

The smile vanishes momentarily in surprise before returning even broader than before at the words I had never said out loud in our previous years. It's so peaceful at that instant with Seifer beaming at me and the life we created testing out the limits of his small lungs in the background.

Then without warning, it was all gone into darkness.

~><~

Knowing I'm awake, it is somewhat disconcerting to require effort in order to open my eyelids. They refuse my demands for some time before dim light replaces the darkness. Staring at the familiar ceiling of my room in the presidential building, I lie there doing nothing, not even thinking. It feels nice to simply be for the moment.

Turning my head to the side, I find Seifer sitting still in a nearby chair, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

"Seifer..." It's harder than I would have thought to speak. Water would be nice right now.

He jerks up straight in his chair, green eyes wide as he stares at me for several heartbeats. Slowly he stands up to tower over me, a couple fingers tracing along my cheek as he looks at me with redden eyes. Only once before have I seen such an expression on his face, eons ago on the night Isan was conceived.

"Isan... The operation... Did something happen?"

His eyes narrow. "You asshole. Never say you love me again. _Never_."

Both the words and the tone of them frighten me, but I don't dare let that show in my expression. Not trusting words, I can only stare at the blond in hopes that he would explain, though I almost dread the meaning behind the harsh demand.

Dropping to his knees, Seifer rests his head on the mattress while one hand grasps blindly for mine. "You were dead for two minutes. The Phoenix Downs and Life spells couldn't revive you. That guy doc then used some machine to pump electricity into you, and your body would jerk up from the table... I couldn't..."

The sight of a tear running down his face unbalances me - Seifer does not cry. And yet he is over my brush with death. A death he couldn't prevent. I wouldn't be surprised if he believes himself directly responsible for it.

"Why then? Why just after telling me...?"

"Seifer--"

"No. Just, don't ever say it again. I know it anyway, so words are rather meaningless."

Liar. But for now, I'll let him hide from his fears of causing me more harm within our lifetimes. "Get me some water and then I want you to lie down. When's the last time you slept?"

He stands to follow my order. "A few nights ago. Couldn't the night before the operation and last night, well, can't let some idiot keep an eye over you."

While he goes into the bathroom, I sit up to lift the sheets and loose shirt in order to look at my stomach. A thin, horizontal line remains from the cure spells they probably used on the incision. Noting the lack of typical muscle definition, I feel pathetically weak. Being pregnant, I had an excuse. But now, even though only a day or two past the delivery, I hate this evidence of degraded strength.

"Here." Seifer hands me the glass of water, then crawls over me to lie down on his side of the bed. Strong arms wrapping protectively around my waist, he almost forces me flat onto the mattress.

"Go to sleep. I'll lie down once I finish this."

He frowns a little, but then relents as his eyelids close. Sipping the refreshing water, I watch as bit by bit he relaxes into deep sleep. He's so handsome when he isn't trying to maintain the badass image. Almost soft in appearance. Hoping not to wake Seifer, I carefully move back so that I can lean against the headboard while watching him.

Some time later, a soft knock sounds before the door opens quietly. "Seifer, I thought I told you--"

"Shhh."

Dr Kadowaki blinks at the sight of me awake, then continues with a lower voice. "Oh. I didn't realize. How do you feel, dear?"

"Fine. Seifer's exhausted, though."

"His own fault for that one. I told him to use another room and I'd wake him the moment you were up."

"Isan..."

"Softly snoring in the next room. If you're up for it, I can bring him in."

Why does the mere thought of my son bring a smile to my lips? "I'd like that."

"Would you mind if a visitor comes in as well? She's been a worse wreck than Seifer."

She? "I don't mind."

Dr Kadowaki goes back out the door, propping it open with her foot as she speaks to someone sitting directly outside. The words are too soft for me to hear, though a small disagreement seems to take place. A deeper tone that I recognize instantly as Laguna's joins in the discussion. Eventually the door is pushed wide open for the visitor to come in. Edea appears in the doorway, Laguna ushering her forward.

"Matron."

At the sight of me, fresh tears flow from her already redden eyes. With long, quick strides she is suddenly hugging me, one arm cradling my head close to her chest as the other wraps around my shoulder. Confused, I look to my father for any kind of explanation, but he only shakes his head before leaving the room.

"My child, how will you ever forgive me?"

"You haven't done anything, Matron."

"Which is to my shame. If you had died..." She kisses my head.

"Explain."

Edea hesitates before speaking. "I remember some of my time under Ultimecia's control. The reasons she desired Ellone, for instance. And what she had planned for you. I swear, I had thought the spell failed or the baby lost after all you went through. You never let on that you were hiding this. Just recently when Cid mentioned Dr Kadowaki taking her first vacation ever, did I connect it with your disappearance."

"My condition wasn't your responsibility."

"You don't understand. Ultimecia knew Seifer's thoughts. She knew impregnating you wouldn't be an issue, but your death... Seifer would have never been able to kill you after the birth of a child. In fact, she was worried he would regain his senses from such a situation. She cursed you to die once the child was born, no magic able to revive you. The ultimate Knight would be hers and Seifer in grief would that much easier to control. And I _knew_ this."

Yet another person trying to take blame when it's not hers to claim. "But you didn't know I was pregnant."

"Nonetheless, I should have been more observant."

Hands on her waist, I gently push her from me to form eye contact. "Matron, I'm alive and well. I have a son, more so Seifer's child. I'm happy."

The light brown eyes blink away moisture before narrowing as she smiles weakly. "Foolish child, seeing things so plainly. And I should be comforting you instead of this."

"He forgives you already," comes a mutter from the pillow.

I look at the blond from the corner of my eye. "I thought you were sleeping."

Seifer rises up onto his elbow. "Like I could with this noise. Matron. Good to see you relatively well."

"Seifer. It truly pleases me to find you here with Squall."

He grunts out something resembling an 'of course' statement.

According to the blond, he had made peace with Edea a couple months after the incident, but I can still feel the tension between the former sorceress and knight. A shame since Matron is the only mother Seifer knows. With myself holding just vague images and stories about my own mother, Edea certainly has an important role in my life.

The door opens once again, Dr Kadowaki holding a bundle of blankets in her arms. With a soft pat to my shoulder, Edea leaves the room to give us privacy. After softly spoken instructions, the doctor lets me hold my son for the first time. His head is too small, too fragile lying on my open hand as his eyelids flutter open to reveal green eyes muted with gray undertones. He considers me briefly before yawning and closing his eyes once more.

Seifer rests his head on my shoulder to look at our son. "Are you sure he's ours? I don't see a scar on his forehead."

* * *

 |Seifer|

For the millionth time this morning, I remind myself I love this banshee within my hold.

"Damn it, Squall! Would you get in here already?"

Finally I hear footfalls heading in this direction. "Thought you said you could handle it."

Merely the sound of his mother's voice compels Isan to tone down his wails to quiet, shorter cries.

"And that was over twenty minutes ago. You could have come over to saved me at any point, ya know. Take the brat and--" I turn to find the brunet leaning against the door frame, blue-gray eyes hinted with a look I haven't seen in a long time. "Mmm, I've missed the leather pants."

"I was afraid they wouldn't fit yet." He undoes the lower buttons of his shirt, separating the ends to show the low waist line. "But miraculously they do."

"Squall, I'd love to, but we have a small problem here." I move the crying Isan to my other shoulder.

"We? I'm fine, myself." Another button slips from its hole. "In fact, I feel really good."

"Don't make me drop your only son."

"You won't."

All the buttons undone, he opens the white shirt to reveal the body I will never stop worshipping. After only a few weeks of some training in addition to the typical teenage metabolism, Squall's figure is lean but still has a softer, more feminine appearance. As always, it's irresistible. The shirt slips off his shoulder closest to me, the urge to nip and taste the exposed skin just barely won over by the whimpering cries at my ear. Smirking at my disadvantaged position, he wraps his hands around to the back of his neck and then rakes thin fingers up through the thick, recently shortened hair. His pelvis pushed forward and arms reached high above him, he stretches along the doorframe.

"Isan, do you see what your mommy is doing?" I say softly into the small ear, though my eyes are fixed ahead on the delectable sight.

Lowering his arms, Squall places a finger against his mouth in a shushing sign, eyes blazing at my continued use of the hated parental term. He then takes the finger into his mouth and sucks on it lightly. Taking it back out, he runs the moist finger along his chin and continuing down his neck to the chest below. With closed eyes and a slightly parted mouth, he takes a cold puckered nipple between his finger and thumb, rolling the nub gently.

Meanwhile, his other hand that had been resting on his head with fingers clutching the dark locks in time with his ministrations, makes its move, raking trimmed nails along skin, over ribs, and to his bare stomach. A long finger plays with the rim of his navel, the muscles clenching at the ticklish feel. Eventually the hand travels the short distance lower to cup the leather constrained bulge.

"Nh, Seifer..." he moans, eyes half opening to peer at me through thick lashes.

My mouth feeling dry, my only response is the painful twitch of my cock.

"Put Isan to bed, and then it's my turn."

Blinking back into reality, I look over at the little guy on my shoulder. "When did he fall asleep?"

"Sometime between nipple and navel. Now hurry."

Despite the blood rushing through my body, I manage to carefully place our son in the crib and cover him with a couple small blankets. After a whispered wish for sweet dreams, I tackle the teasing brunet still leaning in the doorway, forcing him farther back into our bedroom.

"Are you going to be doing that every time I have to calm him down?"

"You try too hard. He doesn't like quick movements."

"Now, who did he get that from?"

Before Squall can answer, I press my lips hard against his while my hand moves from his waist to the hardness digging into my thigh. The groan he produces into my mouth vibrates throughout me, creating a heady feel of power and control. With stumbling steps, I manage to back him up to the bed and push him onto the mattress with a satisfying bounce. Still standing, I quickly take off my t-shirt and shuck off the interfering pants, my eyes only getting glances of the man lying passively on the dark comforter. Stripped of clothing, I get to work on the task of removing the mere two belts securing his pants.

"I love you."

My hands still instantly in their task, panic flooding every sense. Looking up, I find blue-gray eyes filled with content gazing at me while the corner of his lips curl into a lazy smile. The irrational fear of his death at those words evaporates to be replaced by cold anger.

"I told you--"

"Seifer. I can't live a life where you think I'd die from loving you."

"But, you..." He can't understand the feel of his limp hand sliding from mine. The realization that I had no power to save him, especially when the fault was mine for the whole situation. The sight of his split open body jumping from the table in the attempt to restart the dead heart. And all of it happening with the echoes of 'love you' within my mind.

"Don't deny that you need to hear those words from me."

"I don't, damn it. I've never needed to hear words from you. I know your thoughts without anything spoken."

"You know, but you can't be certain."

"I am about you."

"Are you never going to tell your son that you love him for fear of his death?"

Clutching the comforter and closing my eyes, I can only whisper back at him. "Fuck you."

He leans up, a cool hand caressing my cheek. "I love you."

"Please, stop saying that."

"No." Warm breath graces my lips. "I love you, Seifer. I'm sorry it took so long to say."

I dare to open my eyes and look straight into his, my breath halting at the lack of shields in those stormy blues. There is nothing for me to assume or wonder in connection with his thoughts and emotions, everything bared before me without hesitation. Hyne, how did I end up with this man?

Grabbing his shoulders, I push him back down onto the mattress and stare into those revealing eyes. As he lies completely relaxed beneath me, the blue-gray seems to deepen in color as Squall waits for my next action. So damn trusting, this fool. Loosening my grip, I run rough fingertips down his body, taking pleasure in every shiver I cause. I reach the waistband of the soft leather, quickly releasing him from the pants. Kneeling between his legs that hang off the mattress edge, I remove the pants entirely and toss them to the side.

Leaning forward, I take his partially harden length in hand and rub it against my cheek. Straight before me is the thin scar that our son came through into this world. At times it's impossible to believe it ever happened, that I'll wake up from this dream. But so far, my dreams have only been interrupted by a piercing cry from Isan or else the alarm clock reminding us it's feeding time.

After a quick lick to the redden head for warning, I take his penis whole into my mouth. Squall moans as his hips rise once sharply but then still to let me have my way with him. I adore him for granting me such power. With a rough tongue and grazing teeth, I work him back to a harden state. Once the tone of his noises rise in pitch, I draw back with a flick of my tongue against the tip, and then stand up. One knee on the bed, I place a hand between his legs and insert a finger deep into him. While I stroke carefully, I bend forward to kiss the shoulder that had called to me earlier, making certain to leave my mark there.

Deciding when he has been driven far enough, I take my place between his legs and pull him to the very edge of the mattress. With his thighs clamped tightly around my waist, I spare a moment to look at the layout before me. A faint flush of red colors his face as he gazes at me with barely opened eyes and his white shirt still on but wide open. Seeing him like this, I start vague plans for his future office in Esthar Garden and him lying helpless in a large chair ordered special for a Headmaster. The image in mind, I thrust forward into him.

Hot. Tight. Beautiful. Fucking is nothing but move in, slide out and repeat. Simple motions that create so much pleasure, the intensity increasing all the more when you know that hole belongs solely to you.

Squall comes before me, the white ribbons of cum splattering between us. His body stretched bow tight for those seconds makes me smile, the taste of power flavoring my mouth as if the passion I cause within the lithe body could break him if I so desired. One of his hands on my back drifts upward to squeeze the base of my neck, triggering the sensitive spot there to make me release deep within him.

Both of our breaths are ragged as I rest there, still sheathed in the heated flesh. His hand massages gently in its position until we regain some kind of equilibrium. Eventually I pull out of him, wrap my arms around his waist, and heave us up further on the bed to lie down fully. Grabbing a pillow, I pull off its covering to wipe the cum off from the two of us and toss the thing to the side of the bed, not caring about the halfhearted glare Squall sends my way.

"If you have enough energy to do laundry, be my guest."

He sighs then rolls tight against me. "Set the alarm for two hours."

"Ugh, this is worse than training. At least then we knew it'd be over in a week or two."

Not getting a response, I look down at his head lying in the crook of my arm, his eyes closed in the attempt to fall asleep quickly and thus gain the maximum amount of rest he can. Truly, I shouldn't be the one to complain. Just lately I've been getting up to help with the feedings. He's still sleep-deprived from the months of pregnancy, or perhaps in a sense he is used to this by now. I can't be sure, the way he holds in much of his thoughts, especially with the effects of hormones disappearing along with the once existing female anatomy.

At least he hasn't held in everything. Reluctantly I have to admit I'm relieved to know for certain that he cares for me, that I'm not just here for the physical reasons or because I happen to be the unexpected father. Squall said he loved me, the action more than the words meaning everything to me. And fuck him for knowing me far too well.

~><~

After the loud knocks at the front door, the second warning I have of visitors is the squealing tones that sound remarkably like 'Squall'. Sighing, I sneak into the kitchen first to grab a few bottles of beer before heading into the living room. Yes, I know I swore off the stuff almost a year ago, but damn it, I need something to get me through tonight, and since fondling Squall isn't allowed...

"Seifer! It's been too long." Rinoa comes straight for me, wrapping arms around my neck.

I hug the dark-haired woman. "Hey, doll face. And what do you mean it's been too long? We called you the other week."

She pulls back with a pout. "That's not the same as in person, and you know it. So, how are you?"

"Tired."

Before she can question me, I move to the couch where Zell and Irvine had planted themselves while Quistis and Selphie were trying to interrogate the quiet brunet. Holding up the bottles with a questioning glance, the two men extend their hands out appreciatively. They take a long drink of the alcohol before Zell speaks up.

"We let Selphie fly the Rag."

And that's all there really needed to be said about that. While I haven't experienced it myself, Squall has gone into vague details about some frightening flights. Though ironically, the rough movements had counteracted his morning sickness at the time.

"So spill it, man. Why the hell are you two way out here?"

I grin widely, but hold back the several snide comments that pop into mind in relation to body odor and general annoyance. Anyhow, it'd be too easy to get a rise out of the small guy that way.

"Actually, that's why I had Rinoa bring everyone." Squall motions for the ladies to sit down, myself moving onto the armrest so that Quisty could have a seat on the couch. "First, I'm sorry for running off."

"Ya better be. Quistis had to pick up the slack for you, Mr Commander."

"Zell, hush. Don't worry about it, Squall. I'm certain you had your reasons for not wanting to talk with us. Though I am curious why..." She looks at me, a touch of hurt in her eyes that I was trusted with Squall's secrets while no one else was even allowed a hint.

"Seifer and I are involved. He had the right to know."

As the seconds counted down to understanding, I take the moment to place the beer on the table, get up from my seat and stand by Squall's side. An arm wrapped possessively around his waist, I try not to leave much room for question in his previous statement. Already knowing many details about the relationship, Rinoa smiles with dark eyes warming at the sight of us together.

The first to get a clue, Selphie clasps her hands together as she smiles broadly. "That's so awesome! I always thought you two would look hot in bed together. I want pictures!"

"Personally, I want video--" Squall elbows me in the stomach. Hard.

Zell shakes his head, blue eyes wide open. "No way. I can't believe it. _Maybe_ Squall I can get being gay, I mean the looks and leather and all, but _Seifer?_ It's not freaking possible."

"You two could prove it to us," happily offers the girl from the cowboy's lap.

Before I can accept the request, Squall states firmly, "Not happening."

Irvine and Quistis stay silent during continued begging from the hyperactive girl. The cowboy just looks amused with that grin of his, but he hasn't seen Squall and I together since childhood so he has little to base judgment on. The instructor frowns in thought, probably upset with herself for missing something so big between her two problem students.

"Anyhow, that isn't the reason I wanted you here. I did have a reason for leaving, and decided I was ready to tell you all. Especially since we've been through so much together."

Five pairs of eyes ranging in color lock firmly onto the brunet, waiting for the answers to their questions over the year. Instead of speaking right away, he whispers to me that he'll be right back and then walks off. Eyes switch directly to me, the pressure of their gazes instantly felt.

"Is he dying?" Rinoa asks softly.

"We've told you time and time again. He is **not** dying."

"I know that's what you said, but why else would you two be so secretive to the point of moving way out here? Really, what's wrong with him?"

I suppress a curse at Squall for leaving me alone. "He's fine. He just kind of..." I can't say it. Out loud, it's too ridiculous.

Luckily I don't need to as Squall returns with a small bundle in his arms, Isan whimpering softly at being wakened too soon before a feeding time. Instantly the three girls stand up and walk over to see the infant, voices directly going to the cooing tone only babies receive.

"And who do we have here?"

"Isan. My son."

I could almost hear the heads snap up at the comment.

Rinoa gains her voice first. "But... when? With whom? I thought you only had been with Seifer."

Squall shifts uncomfortably, then looks intently at Isan while he speaks. "Ultimecia did something to me while I was separated from everyone directly after the failed assassination. Shortly after, I was impregnated. The whole situation was too embarrassing to go through in public, so I decided to leave Garden. When my father found out accidentally, he offered for me to live here. Isan was born a little over a month ago."

Again there is a long expanse of silence before Selphie speaks up. "Sweet Hyne, Squall is a mommy!"

He flinches at the term, cold eyes instantly glaring my way in accusation. I can't hold back my laughter. "I swear, I said nothing about it."

The action draws attention away from Squall and to me, a pair of eyes widening with increased realization. Rinoa tries to vocalize the thought, "Seifer, are you...?"

Smirking, I stand proud. "Just call me Daddy."

"Holy shit," comes the comment from the couch, Zell holding his head between two hands. "I don't wanna know. I _really_ don't wanna know."

"Come on, Chickenwuss. Do you need me to go into detail about where babies come from?"

"No, I don't. And stop calling me that!"

"I only call what I see, small stuff."

He growls something in response, but he's in too much shock from the previous announcements to bother with real words.

"Squall, can I hold him?"

"Sure, just be certain to support his head."

He hands the baby over to Rinoa, doe eyes sparkling at the experience of having a small child within her arms. She goes to the sofa chair to sit down, Selphie standing nearby to play a peek-a-boo game with the wide-eyed Isan. Poor kid. Meanwhile, Quisty questions the brunet intently about the entire pregnancy, her first question of course being how the child survived within him through Time Compression.

Already hearing the answers to her questions several times by now, I rejoin the guys on the couch, retaking my beer from the coffee table. Zell jumps with me sitting near him, blue eyes narrowing as if prepared to defend himself.

"Chill it, Chickenwuss. I'm not going to start humping you simply because you know I fuck men. Squall and I were an item long before the war crap, so nothing is different in that regard." I guzzle down some of the warming alcohol, craving the minor buzz.

"...Really?"

"Trust me, you are nowhere near my type."

He huffs, cheeks full and red. "Not that. I mean you and Squall. All this time, you've been..."

"Fucking like confused rabbits? Damn right."

Shaking his head, Zell goes into a zoning state to try and figure out this whole scene. Don't blame the chickie too much. I'd act much the same way if I was told he has been going to gay clubs every night for a good whipping.

"I'm impressed, blondie. From the stories I've heard, you don't seem the type to settle down." Lazy smile in place, Irvine looks far too comfortable with everything happening around him. Does anything bother the guy?

"To say the least, this wasn't planned for my future. But... I couldn't let Squall do this on his own."

Zell eyes me with part wonderment in the clear blues. "You give a shit."

"Of course I give a shit about Squall. Have you been listening at all tonight?"

The time of chit-chat ends abruptly when Isan starts that little coughing cry of his whenever he feels grumpy without reason. Squall takes the blanket bound child from Rinoa's lap and whispers softly to his son. Stormy eyes meet briefly with mine before he turns to the hallway. The empty beer bottle placed onto the table, I quickly join the man with our friends left behind.

In the nursery, he rocks slowly with Isan held by his shoulder. Without ruining his rhythm, I step up behind and wrap arms around his waist for our baby slow dance. The cries already quieting to annoyed whimpers, it doesn't take long before Squall puts the sleeping boy to bed, stroking the dark hair gently before pulling back.

"Are you okay, love?"

He nods. "I imagined worse."

"That doesn't surprise me. You know, it won't be the same between you guys."

"We all have to grow up sometime."

"Mmm, but I don't wanna," I mumble against the corner of his mouth.

He turns his head enough for a chaste kiss, the brief taste not nearly enough to get me through the night, but I'll make do somehow.

The quiet moment is ruined with the cry of "Whoot! I saw them!" as Selphie runs back down the hallway.

"If they are staying the night, remind me to lock the door."

Scowling at the now empty doorway, Squall grunts out his agreement.

* * *

[Years later…]

I lean against the front of the large desk, arms held across my chest. Thus far I haven't bothered paying attention to the meeting taking place within this office, but hearing the keywords that signal the approaching end of this mission wrap up, I look to the side as Squall stands with a hand held out straight.

"If you need our assistance again, we are pleased to serve."

The gray suited politician stands as well, but eyes the hand warily for a brief moment while considering what kind of damage that hand could cause. "Thank you. We've always been pleased by the success of SeeD members from Esthar and hope to do business again." He pumps the hand once, then proceeds to slowly flee from the room.

It took me a good few months before I could stop myself from laughing at the way people fear this Lion, though it had been satisfying the way my laughter could make those tight asses move even faster out of the office.

The door slides open before him, a small form instantly running inside. "Mommy!"

Stunned into place at seeing the four-year-old within Garden walls, the politician man stares dumbly as Isan moves quickly around the desk and tugs on the shirt ends to be lifted up. Sighing, Squall picks up his son and sets him on the desk top, then smoothes out the wild hair as best he can without a gallon of mousse.

"You know what? Grandpa took me to see monsters. Big ones, too!"

Another strides into the room, Laguna scratching the back of his head. "Sorry about that. He's still a bit excited about the zoo." Blinking, he turns to face the extra man in the room. "Ah, Schmidt. Long time no see. How's your old man?"

Snapping out of his surprised state of mind, the man straightens instantly. "President Loire. An honor. My father is doing well. He speaks of you often."

"Good to hear. Well, hate to keep you when you're obviously on your way out. Travel safely."

Meanwhile, I would have stayed with the clearer 'get the fuck out of here' type comment. If he knows what is good for his country, Laguna had better not try convincing Squall to take up the presidential title, since where the brunet goes, I follow. Unfortunately, the older man doesn't seem to understand the problem with that.

After a quick nod, the politician rushes out to the far elevator, the door soon shutting out the sign of him.

"And you know what? There was a boat-he-moth. Grandpa says you fight 'em all the time."

"No, not all the time. And it's Behemoth." I adore the way he speaks to our boy, Squall being the only one I know who resisted the baby talk crap, which I reluctantly admit to stooping to. As with everyone else he encounters, he talks to Isan with plain and honest words.

"Oh... And you know what? There were dragons, too. Grandpa says the teeth are bigger than me!"

"Sounds like you had a good time. Did you have anything to eat yet?"

"Un! I got ice cream wit sprinkles."

I snicker. "You are busted, old man."

"Dad, I told you no sweets until after lunch."

"But... but he did that wide-eyed look _with_ the pout. And we did walk around a lot, Isan staying by my side the whole time."

Squall glances at me and mutters, "I know that look well." He lifts Isan back to the floor. "You go with your grandfather and get cleaned up so we can have lunch in town."

"Can we go to that place? Wit the fishies?"

"Since you've been good today, I don't see why not."

"Thanks, Mommy!" He hugs a belted leg before scampering off with Laguna.

In time with the door closing, Squall drops into his chair and places his forehead on the solid surface of his desk. "Hyne help me, I just realized how I've gotten used to that ridiculous term."

"Oh, give in already. It's been four years." I walk around to the other side of the desk.

"This is all your fault, bastard."

"You're welcome." I swivel the chair towards me. "Just think of the irony - the most feared man on the planet is _Mommy_."

He tries to look at me as if I were insane, but the small smile reveals his hidden amusement. "I thought you were the most feared man around."

"Mmm, but I can't seem threaten this one man no matter what I do." Leaning forward, I lick and kiss along his neck.

"We have lunch plans."

"Knowing Laguna, it'll take until dinner for him to get that brat under control."

"Seifer..."

"I still haven't gotten around to fucking you in that chair."

"And you won't. Our clients sit there."

"So damn straight-laced. A guy would think I could corrupt you by now."

He gasps when I take the small Adam's apple between teeth and flick my tongue against the trapped portion of neck. "If you're a good boy, I may change my decision about the elevator."

Suddenly the door opens, and a young voice speaks out. "Daddy! Stop eating Mommy."

"I don't know, kiddo. He tastes really good."

"Nooo. We're gonna have lunch wit the fishies."

As expected, the little guy gets me from behind in order to protect his mother. But damn, the brat almost pulls my leg straight out from under me. When the hell did he get big enough to do that? Bending down, I pluck him off my leg and swing him over my shoulder face up, his belly exposed for easy torture.

"Daddy, dooon't! Stop!" He laughs loudly at the tickling, the sound reminding me of the days when Squall would laugh in the exact same tone. It was far too long ago.

"Alright, I won't stop."

"Noooo! Mom... Mommy, save me!" he sputters out in laughter.

Squall stands up, small smirk in place. "You have to fight your own battles, Isan. Or else surrender to the enemy's terms."

"Hear that, brat? You're going to have to help me wash the truck this weekend if you surrender."

"O...okay! Surrender!"

Immediately I stop the torment and help him slide to the floor. After a spare moment to catch his breath, Isan looks up at me with a perfect example of the Almasy pout. Too bad for him that I have a natural immunity. Hand on his head, I push him forward to the open doorway where Laguna has been waiting all this time.

The hairs on my neck prickle slightly at the feeling of being closely observed, and I turn to find Squall still standing behind his desk. He looks at us with half open eyes, taking in the sight of his complete family. Squall told me once that every now and again when he watches us like this, he is wondering if this is the time when we will walk out of his life to never return. No words could really elevate the fears of a child deserted time and time again. I should know. Grinning, I extend a hand out to Squall and coax him forward to join us. Once he takes the hand, I pull him close to me.

"We can't go anywhere without you, love."

A vague smile appears with a hint of relief in the curl of lips. "Then let's go eat with the fishies."

 

{Owari}

 


End file.
